Niko had decided, once again, that sleep is for the weak, and for chumps, and he will have none of it. So he woke up really early (why god why) and now is refusing to nap. But he’s a toddler and he needs a lot of sleep, which means that today has been filled with lots of yawning and eye rubbing and leaning and wallowing around on the floor and sudden bursting into tears at the least provocation.

Niko hasn’t been doing much better.

Actually, if someone came up to me and said “Oh hey, I see that Niko’s been taken possession of by twenty bored devils” I would reply “ahhh, that explains EVERYTHING,” because it does. Including why he dumped an entire container of Cheerios onto the floor, scratched the ever living hell out of my face (playfully! not in anger!) and has been obsessed with grabbing and twisting my glasses. Yes, the new glasses. The ones that cost over US$300. WHAT FUN.

I’m still trying to curtail TV time, and today has been very trying for both of us. It’s trying for Niko because he wants to watch Thomas and Friends (tootoo! tooooo…. TOOOOOOO) and failing that he’s willing to settle for Baby Signing Time (beeba! BEEEEEEEEEEBA! Beeba?). But alas, we’ve already had our Baby Signing Time for today and as much as I’d love to just use T&F as a babysitter so I could get things done (like bake 2 pies, 8 dozen cookies, and a cheese cake for a party we’re going to tomorrow YES TOMORROW) (I think I’m slightly an over achiever when it comes to baking) (I already made raspberry brownies while Niko was literally hanging on my legs) I have a few scraps of Good Parenting Cope left so tough nuts, Niko, no more tv.

But god, I have one of those migraines that’s just like being hung over (nausea! hurts to move your head! prayers for death a common symptom! At least I have full use of my vision, which my migraines usually render me literally blind so that’s… something, I guess.) only I haven’t had anything to drink since a birthday party ON FRIDAY. Which is like double plus unfair. All this pain and discomfort and I’m not even paying for happy fun times. The highlight of my week this week was a trip to Costco. COSTCO. Let me tell you, internets, I AM SEIZING LIFE BY THE BALLS AND LIVING IT.

So, yeah.

I have like literally FIVE saved drafts of posts that I just haven’t had the time to finish typing and put up. Gosh, I wish I had a laptop or a netbook or something I could use while in the same room as Niko. Our desktop is in The Forbidden Room which is full of unpacked boxes in teetering piles, guitar equipment, drills, tiny screws, and other things that Niko is absolutely not allowed to play with until he’s, like, three at LEAST. So I sneak on while Niko is occupied to get my blog on. I’ve been running a low grade fever for three weeks (no exaggeration) so mostly I’ve been sacking out early at night/not quite coherent enough to make a good post. However, I’m putting together a post on weird-ass books I read as a kid/”subversive” children’s literature, and a post on the difference between being fat and being pregnant, in honor of a certain someone who is ready to rip her baby out with her own bare hands at this point in pregnancy, I think.

(Who am I kidding, if I had a laptop or netbook I mostly would use it to play solitaire and Echo Bazaar and someone would dump a can of seltzer water all over it and it would be dead within a month.)

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Sorry for the blog silence. Niko had a cold complete with cough-till-vomiting and was extra clingy and needy so I was unable to slip away to the computer for something as low priority as blogging.

So to make up for it, here is a catalog of the things that wigged Niko out today:

• He got cottage cheese on his finger, gagged, and waved his hand around until the curd flew off. One curd. A speck.
• He was limping around oddly and whining because a single curd of cottage cheese was on top of his toes (probably from when he flung it off his finger).
• We went outside and his soccer ball got dirt/mud and wet leaves on it, so he held it gingerly with his palms for awhile (then clutched it to his chest) (he also picked up flattened water bottles and tried to lick them/”drink” from them even though they were even wetter, dirtier, grittier, and grosser)
• He got mud on his shirt and when I changed his clothing he grabbed a wipe and wiped off his stomach on the spot where the damp mud on the shirt had touched him (through the shirt) (his actual flesh was clean).

The other day he managed to dunk his elbow into some apple sauce. To alert me to this unpleasant sensation he kept grabbing his sleeve, tugging it, and saying “brrr! brrrrr!” until I wiped the applesauce off his sleeve and rolled his sleeve up past his elbow so the cold damp was no longer touching his skin.

IN OTHER NEWS, while he was sick I basically let him lounge on the couch (draped against me limply) and watch Thomas And Friends literally all day. THIS WAS A MISTAKE, in hindsight, because now he wants to watch Thomas all the time. Always. Constantly. “tootoot?” he asks me. “pipura?” (for some reason, that is his word for tv) “Pipura tootoot? mah? mah tootoot?” Now that he is feeling better I am trying to wean him from endless television by distracting him with his slide, balls, blocks, etc. He is obviously feeling better because he now is once again spending 5-10 minutes at a time hollering happily while jumping up and down in a circle and then throwing his body to the floor and lolling about. Plenty of energy for jumping! Plenty of energy for television lobbying as well, sadly.

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Mirrored from Now Showing!.