brigid | This Zombie Walk has been delayed due to belligerant assholes…

Mirrored from brigidkeely.com/wordpress.

I’m working weekends, as a temp, counting passengers who ride the Metra. It’s a pretty awesome job, and apparently I’m a magnet for exciting things on the train. Last time it was drunken jerky group of pub/train crawling bros who were actively trying to get temps fired, befouling the bathrooms, harassing other riders, and talking loudly about how they’d pissed themselves earlier but it was totally cool because the pee was dry by now dude cool huh?

This time it was zombies.

There was a Zombie Walk and several participants took Metra in. Their (obviously, to me, fake) blood and make up alarmed a few passengers who were quick to scurry their kids out of the car and report them to me (I can do nothing!) and then the conductor. OH MY GOD there are PEOPLE and they are COVERED in BLOOD! It is obviously real and not a costume in any way! The fact that someone was holding a blood daubed mannequin leg apparently did not help in calming them down.

It’s actually ironic that zombies were in my car because as we were sitting at the end of the line in Joliet waiting for half a damn hour for the train to go, I imagined us sitting in the car as zombies surged toward us and slapped bloody hands on the glass of the windows. It’s not that I’m obsessed with zombies, it’s just that I was trying to figure out what the half hour delay was, and figured zombies were as likely as anything else, especially in the deserted ghost town that Joliet apparently has become.

Apparently the real delay was asshole passengers who were picking fights and jumping on and off the train and all around being dbags. So, zombie passengers, I hope you weren’t too late for your zombie promenade. Since the delay caused me to miss my train out to Roselle and the painting party my friends were having, I could have gone and watched you shamble about, but I didn’t know where you were meeting (although millennium park, in retrospect, is blindingly obvious). If only I had an iPhone. I could have turned to the internets for knowledge.