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Like, OMG! Shoes!

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I got shoes that fit for the first time in 1994.

I have very wide feet, and prior to that I stuffed my feet into whatever shoes (usually shoes designed for older, adult women who were on their feet a lot… nurses, for example) I could. My feet are actually deformed from this. I used to literally walk on top of my little toe, which was turned entirely under my foot. I know a lot of women who have this problem. In the summer of 1993, I’d gone on a trip with my mom to Australia to spend a few weeks with her best friends who’d moved out there years before (this was back before the internet was commonly used, before email was pervasive, back when Air Mail still existed and my mom would get packs of Onion Skin Paper (translucent!) and write in tiny, cramped handwriting on both sides of the paper, and it was so incredibly expensive to send just a letter, never mind an actual package, and phone calls were arranged far ahead of time and were short because of the expense) and for some reason we went to a discount shoe warehouse place while we were there and I got a pair of cordovan leather lace up shoes that almost fit, and the shoe seller told my mom to look for Dr Martens when we got back home. They were this shoe from England that ran wide, she said, and were very sturdy. Hard to find outside of England, a little pricey, but worth looking for.

We called around and eventually found a pair of 3 hole greasy black leather shoes at, I think, Marshall Field’s… not just any Marshall Field’s, but the one in down town Chicago (which is now a Macy’s because hey, who needs history or continuity?). I was appalled at the price, something around $100. People actually spent that much money on shoes? Really? This is a thing, that people do? But we got them, shoes that fit, sturdy shoes, shoes that didn’t cause pain. They fit like a dream. The actual topography of my feet started changing, to the point where my toes now look like normal toes and not like those weird sausages you find in jars that started out round but turn kind of square from being packed so closely together, and my pinky toes are straight and I walk like a normal human being, and I have better balance and posture and my foot bones don’t ache the way they used to. I wore those shoes until I literally wore them out. I wore them every day for five years, and that wear involved building sets and getting drywall screws and broken glass stuck in the soles and digging them out with pliers, and walking all around campus both High School and College, miles and miles of walking, and walking in the hot summer and walking in the freezing cold (and well salted) winter. The leather got softer and softer and conformed entirely to my feet. I replaced the laces multiple times.

And then one day I was walking across the quad after a rain storm and realized that my feet were soaking wet. Like, sloshing slopping squishy wrinkled feet wet. I’d worn the tread off the soles years ago (and this was back when Dr Marten’s had deeper treads, so that’s saying quite a bit) and now the soles had deep splits in them and every time I walked through a puddle they sucked water up.

And I was heart broken. I actually held on to those shoes for something like 5 years after they bit the dust, with grand plans to take them to some magical cobbler and get them resoled. At one point the company used to resole shoes but in general they don’t do that any more. And no pair of DMs I’ve gotten since them, even the same style, has fit as well or lasted as long or been as comfortable. Maybe it’s because my feet have changed shape, or because I’m older; maybe the quality of the shoes has gone downhill. But I’ve bought, in my life, 5 pair of DM shoes and 2 pair of boots (prices ranging from $100-$150 each) and after that first pair have only gotten about 2 years worth of wear out of them before they start getting really uncomfortable (one pair barely lasted a year. A buckle broke off after a month or two, only, and they became extremely uncomfortable to wear after about 11 months, and I still have them because Christ they were expensive and I hate the idea of throwing out money like that. I’ve gotten more wear out of $20 kicks from Payless.). They just wear down in ways they didn’t used to. The uppers are mostly fine, but the bouncing soles, the flimsy-seeming (to me, anyway) “new” treads, the inner foot bed… they wear out so fast. Most shoe repair places explicitly state they don’t repair/resole DMs because of the bouncing sole/AIR WAIRE. There’s a place in Boston that will resole SOME DMs for $60 if you also pay postage both ways (or, you know, are in the neighborhood and bring ‘em in).

So I was kind of excited to see that Dr Martens has a line of shoes and boots with the label “For Life.” They’re guaranteed, you see. If they wear out, they will repair or replace them. That’s exciting! They cost more (The style I love and keep coming back to costs US$95 for “regular” on their site and US$130 in “for life” version) but not that much more, right? $130 is a big chunk to drop on shoes, but if I can wear them for 4 or 5 years, that amortizes out pretty nicely.

Except on top of the premium you pay for the shoes, it also costs $25 in handling fees (and additional postage both ways) to get them repaired or replaced. And damage to the “foot bed” (aka insole or inner sole) isn’t covered. I don’t know about you, but my shoes? Show wear in the foot bed. I have worn through the foot bed and into the filler (the material between the foot bed and sole) in some shoes, which is not very comfortable at all, but shoes aren’t exactly free so I just keep limping along. I don’t know how one would prevent wear in the foot bed, either. Would an insert-able insole be enough protection? And would there be enough room in the shoe for both an insole and my foot? (possibly not)

I’ve been looking for shoes both online and in retail stores for months now. I do not currently have a pair of shoes I can wear to walk or stand for a long distance/period of time, which is severely curtailing my physical activity and outings with my kid. The closest parks/play lots to use are about a mile away and if I walk there and back with Niko, I wind up with pain in my feet, ankles, left knee, right hip, and lower back (I supinate when I walk; the outer edges of my shoes wear out faster than the inner edges. When my shoes get old/worn enough the difference in wear is enough to throw my entire body– feet, ankles, knees, hips, back– out of line and puts tremendous stress on my joints). I spent 20 minutes at a shoe store last night (that doesn’t sound like much time, I guess, but they primarily had high heels, clogs, and boots in the lady section and no smaller men sizes, so I was picking over the same handful of shoes over and over and over) and couldn’t wedge my feet into most of the shoes.

So, you know. The idea of quality, comfortable, fitting shoes with a guarantee is appealing as hell. But I don’t think this guarantee covers the way I wear shoes, and honestly, I’m not entirely confident in the quality level of DMs anymore. So I’m still looking.

It’s really frustrating.

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I know that one can have, from Zappo's, DMs which are UK-made and not Chinese-made. Whether this makes a difference or not, I have no idea.

We have been having conversations with a local cobbler who actually makes shoes. They are not cheap but anything has got to be cheaper than deforming one's feet and being in pain all the time, so we are thinking about it.

It does. I love Docs, and have a sort of collection--the older UK-made ones are better.

Also, you can get new DMs on ebay--yes, new, although pre-owned ones aren't always bad and I have several pairs that were almost new when I got them--for way less than retail price. I only paid over $100 for the first pair I bought in a store. I've bought DMs for $15-70 on ebay.

Custom made shoes might be in my future, although I've gotten some good brand suggestions to try.

DMs' website also had UK-made shoes (labeled "vintage"). They're more expensive than the regular and guaranteed shoes. But I'm thinking of dropping that cash anyway (or looking online for better pricing).

AYYA wear <-- These folks might be of interest to you. I stumbled across them looking for tabi shoes; they appear to make custom footwear for reasonable prices (reasonable, of course, for custom work... which isn't cheap, but they're not charging hideous prices FOR custom work). I can't speak to the craftsmanship or longevity, personally, but I was planning to buy a pair of their tabi shoes as a pair of 'barefoot' shoes so I suppose when i get around to that and get them I can let you know what I make of them.

Anyhow, they say they'll make shoes to order based on your measurements; if your feet are actually of different sizes, they'll apparently happily make you different sized shoes.

Edited 2010-11-29 08:10 (UTC)

Those shoes look incredible. Thanks for the link! Did you know that you can get tabi socks from sockdreams.com?

Oh, grrr. I hope you do manage to find shoes that fit.

I was actually thinking about this the other day - I was buying a pair of slippers and saw that my size was categorised as 'women's large' and there was no extra-large, and thought 'What the hell are the many women I know with feet bigger than mine supposed to do?' and then realised it was actually exactly the same as the ridiculous clothing convention that size 8 is a small, 10 a medium and 12 a large (UK sizing, please adjust as necessary), it's just that this time I'm just about within the ridiculously tight parameters the industry sets so I'd never noticed.

My house sandals (I shove my feet into them to run out and check the mail, run trash out, go into the basement, etc... more sturdy than a slipper but not a shoe either and I don't wear them inside) are men's. While I was trying them on, several people (both customers and staff) came over to tell me I was in the wrong section and one dude stared at me the entire time in a distracted way.

I hate that crap. I buy men's shoes all the time if I like them.

Some of them were trying to be helpful and some were trying to be "helpful." I don't know what the dude's issue was.

Some people are Very Concerned about 'cross-dressing', even if you can't tell. I don't even.

Not certain how wide wide is or if you've tried them, but Danskos, Sanitas or even Merrils can all run wide.

Good luck--hopefully one of the others' advice pans out.

Also Ros Hommerson, Naturalizer, Trotters...and a whole lot of other rather expensive brands.

I need to stop into a Naturalizer store. All the styles I really really like aren't wide (CURSES) but I did try on one wide pair and oh my GOD it was comfortable. It was more than I wanted to pay but in retrospect I should have grabbed them and run. I don't know how long they last, though.

Can't speak to their other shoes, perhaps, but I have a pair of Naturalizer heels that are very sturdy and comfortable and have held up absolutely gorgeously to several years of intermittent use; I'm very fond of them -- they're my 'sensible' heels (I recognise the irony and the inherent contradiction, but they're as practical as heels that aren't platforms or chunky are gonna get).

And that's with my tendency to supinate making heels a bitch after long wear (the outside wears away first and that makes them unstable of course) -- they're not showing signs of that, yet.

Ah, fantastic. I supinate, too.

I'm really really looking for flats/walking shoes but a lot of their heeled styles look good and pretty comfortable.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Outsourcing. Ugh ugh ugh.

DMs can be purchased well under retail price on eBay, and DMs on eBay are often brand new overstock, not used, although used DMs are often very wearable. (A lot of my coloured DMs were bought 'used' from someone who sold them due to not actually wearing blue oxfords or pink mary janes that often.)

So, that's one thing.

Insoles do protect against wear to the footbed and can also be used to replace a worn-out footbed provided you haven't worn through the filler. (Oh yeah, I've done that.) In addition, some brands of shoes (most notably, Drew shoes) not only come in large sizes, but also have replaceable insoles. I have a pair of Drew shoes that I love but need to get the buckles and insoles replaced on. They are pretty expensive but long lasting. They are also one of the few good shoe brands for wide feet that has office-acceptable styles.

I actually based on what you've said would recommend Drew shoes on the grounds that you can replace the insoles when you need to.

Zappo's has amazing customer service and free shipping even on returns, but you pay for it by paying extra for your shoes--a lot extra. Amazon.com, eBay and 6pm.com all offer better prices on shoes and if you know what you are getting and that it WILL fit, going to Zappo's is not really worth it--Zappo's is for when you're not sure you're going to be able to wear that, so you want to be able to send it back free and fast.

Thanks for the insole advice. I've had a hard time finding insoles that fit (the edges of my wide feet overlap the edges of the insoles), or else putting an insole in a shoe makes the inside of the shoe too small for my foot. So those Drew shoes... gosh. Thank you!

And yeah, I need shoes I can wear to walk to the park, run around in, and also wear to an office.

I am very very leery of buying used shoes because even though a lot of used shoes were only worn literally a handful of times for me that is still sometimes enough to start wearing down the foot bed and cause me gait issues and pain. I have bought shoes in thrift stores, though, because I can try them on and walk around.

Yeah, no, I get it about the whole used thing, sometimes it's good and sometimes it isn't. I have had mostly good luck. Mostly.

Throwing another pricey-but-wears-well brand into the fray: Keen. I get 4-5 years a shot out of any given pair of their Mary Janes. They skew wide and the footbed is hella comfortable. (I don't know if they offer replacements themselves, but the footbed is removable.)

Keen sell directly and Zappos carry their line, but it's worth hitting a brick-and-mortar shop at first. Some people don't get on with the footbed.

I think almost all really good shoes are expensive. Sometimes you get lucky--I've got a cheap pair of satin flats from Payless that I've worn over and over without any problems--but the Vimes Theory is generally correct and if you CAN get the fifty-dollar boots, it is best to do so.

Sometimes I will end up wearing clothes from Walmart with a pair of shoes that cost over $200 retail (which will not be what I paid) and be happy, but it rarely works well the other way round--the only time I can think of in recent years was when I wore the Twilight dress with those little satin flats.

Oh, yeah, totally. Absolutely.

My go-to shoes currently are a pair of Payless fake-converse (which run wide and look cool) but which don't offer much support or cushioning and are starting to really wear down. They cost about $10-ish but really only last about 8 months.

The idea of spending money on myself kind of freaks me out, unless it's for like books. I have no idea why I'd happily spend a thousand dollars on books but spending more than $20 on shoes freaks me (well, other than I love books and would rather walk around barefoot). It's becoming pretty obvious that I need to suck it up and ~~invest~~ in decent footwear.

I think that people think books are a "virtuous" and "self improving" purchase and shoes are "frivolous", especially if you're a girl, because we all love shoes and have 5000 pairs of silly shoes in a million colours, right?

Except, not.

If the rent is due and you are short on food, books can be a very frivolous purchase indeed. I don't hold much truck with that icon (or the shirt) that says "whenever I have money, I buy books and if there's any left over I buy food," because I have known too many people like that! And it's insane making.

And if you are having health problems because your feet hurt all the time and you're standing and walking funny because your feet hurt and your shoes don't fit, and you're in danger of getting trench foot and hookworm because your feet are soaked all the time or in contact with the ground through damp cardboard, shoes are not frivolous.

Shoes are a necessity of life. In rural areas, they keep your feet warm and safe when you have to go outdoors. In urban areas, they keep your feet from coming into contact with sharp things and other people's bodily fluids and the like that are on the street being germy. Bad shoes will ruin your whole day. I have felt very badly about throwing out expensive shoes that didn't fit right that I couldn't give away or sell due to damage. But it's not like I could wear them. This is why I buy them on deep discount or at auction, so that if they don't work out and I can't get back the money, I'm not wasting a lot.

At the moment it really sounds like you need a good solid sturdy pair of shoes way more than you need more books. They are an investment, and they will save you money later. You won't see the money they save you, because it will be in the form of medical bills for problems with your feet, legs, back and neck that you won't run up because you aren't hurting yourself, but trust me, it will be money saved.

Start with a basic pair of shoes that are nice enough to wear out--basic Docs, Drews or the like.

When you can afford another pair, in the summer time you might want a pair of sandals and/or trainers; when you start doing office work you might need fairly flat soft pumps that you could also wear for Dressing Up and Going Out. (Drew is better at this than Doc Martens--DM pumps are not as high quality as their shoes and boots).

I tend to think most women will be happier if they have one pair of good sturdy go-everywhere shoes, one pair of COMFORTABLE office/dressy shoes (if you only have one pair of dress shoes, they cannot be hurty), one pair of sandals and one pair of trainers. When I was really really broke, all my shoes were black and my bag was black, that way there was no worrying about what shoes went with what outfit--except for my trainers/sneakers which were often some insane colour (hot pink, turquoise, silver). You can do the same thing with brown, if you pick a shade.

I realise not everyone loves shoes or shoe shopping like I do (and I do have hard to fit feet, but not like yours) and that I have more money to spend than most of my friends, particularly those with kids. So in no way am I saying "you must run right out and buy 3 pairs of shoes". But what I'm offering is a strategy. I started out broke and worked my way up to my current shoe hoard, and the stage at which I was more or less okay with what I had even if I couldn't have a lot of what I would have wanted to have was the stage at which I had a pair of sturdy boots, a pair of trainers, a pair of comfortable dressy shoes and a pair of sandals.

Edited 2010-11-30 17:29 (UTC)

I really really really love the way you do fashion, including the way you budget for it AND the way you celebrate it. I absolutely adore that about you.

Thanks for the suggestion! Ugh, so many shoes to try. I love the idea of a replaceable/removable foot bed. That's awesome.

I can't empathize with the exact shoe problems, but I can sympathize with shoe problems in general. Last year I finally gave up trying to pretend I have normal "adult" feet and started trolling through kids shoes which has gotten me some luck, but also a different set of problems the normal womens sizes do. So good luck on your shoe hunt? Sorry I don't really have any suggestions, but it looks like several other people already gave you some, heh.

A friend of mine wears child-sized shoes and she can get knee high leather boots for like $10. WHAT!!! and she can get shoes THAT LIGHT UP.

They LIGHT UP.

Oh my GOSH.

They also tend to be shoddily made and not offer much support and wear out fast. Which I guess isn't an issue if you're 12 and your feet are growing so fast you'll outgrow your shoes before you wear them out, but is an issue if you're 30 and your feet are done growing.

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