My parents used punishment instead, which had the result of making me mad at them and all the more reluctant to do what they wanted, because when I did it I felt like I'd lost a war. Bribery, on the rare occasions that it was tried, worked a charm, because eventually I'd realise that whatever-it-was was not so awful as I'd feared and then I didn't need the bribe so much.
Most of the things I balked at as a child were things I was afraid of or things that made me feel 'less than' (like when they wanted me to call adults Sir or Ma'am; that never did sink in). I don't think you're likely to do much of the 'less than' so mostly I'm telling you this because I think we easily forget how scary new things can be to children.
Like, maybe the spacer feels scary, or looks dangerous (it was kind of freaky for me the first time I encountered it, and I was almost grown, and nobody would explain why it was important). Inhalers are actually scary if you don't know what they are--they shoot stuff into your mouth that doesn't taste good and sometimes makes you cough a little, then you feel all jittery for a while. Knowing why we use them anyway is helpful.
I remember being very little and being afraid that I would fall into the potty even though I had a plastic potty seat. What if it broke? Would I flush myself away? It would have been nice if the adults had thought to ask me "What are you scared of?" or even "Are you scared" or "Why don't you want to?"
But my mother in particular was far more concerned about being in control and having her authority acknowledged than she was in figuring out if I had a reason for not wanting to do certain things. She was also into scaring me, which was unfortunate: "you will get PERTUSSIS and DIE" was much less real to me than "if you don't get the shot, you could get very sick and you'd have to stay in bed for a WHOLE WEEK" would have been.
Children usually do have reasons, and if they can't articulate them when asked it's usually because they either haven't learned the emotional words yet or are afraid but do not know how to put the scenario in their heads into words.
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My parents used punishment instead, which had the result of making me mad at them and all the more reluctant to do what they wanted, because when I did it I felt like I'd lost a war. Bribery, on the rare occasions that it was tried, worked a charm, because eventually I'd realise that whatever-it-was was not so awful as I'd feared and then I didn't need the bribe so much.
Most of the things I balked at as a child were things I was afraid of or things that made me feel 'less than' (like when they wanted me to call adults Sir or Ma'am; that never did sink in). I don't think you're likely to do much of the 'less than' so mostly I'm telling you this because I think we easily forget how scary new things can be to children.
Like, maybe the spacer feels scary, or looks dangerous (it was kind of freaky for me the first time I encountered it, and I was almost grown, and nobody would explain why it was important). Inhalers are actually scary if you don't know what they are--they shoot stuff into your mouth that doesn't taste good and sometimes makes you cough a little, then you feel all jittery for a while. Knowing why we use them anyway is helpful.
I remember being very little and being afraid that I would fall into the potty even though I had a plastic potty seat. What if it broke? Would I flush myself away? It would have been nice if the adults had thought to ask me "What are you scared of?" or even "Are you scared" or "Why don't you want to?"
But my mother in particular was far more concerned about being in control and having her authority acknowledged than she was in figuring out if I had a reason for not wanting to do certain things. She was also into scaring me, which was unfortunate: "you will get PERTUSSIS and DIE" was much less real to me than "if you don't get the shot, you could get very sick and you'd have to stay in bed for a WHOLE WEEK" would have been.
Children usually do have reasons, and if they can't articulate them when asked it's usually because they either haven't learned the emotional words yet or are afraid but do not know how to put the scenario in their heads into words.