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BEHOLD: the POWER of M&Ms!
We’ve been having “issues” using Niko’s inhaler and spacer (with mask). He hasn’t been afraid of the spacer per se– he enjoyed carrying it around, calling it a train whistle, and pressing the mask briefly– briefly!– to his face. But he hated HATED hated us using it on him. I’m talking sobbing, flailing, clawing, back-arching, terror tantrums.
Last night, I asked Nesko to buy a package of M&Ms.
This morning, we used bribery.
Look. If you thought I was the kind of parent who was above bribery than I think you haven’t been reading this blog for very long. I will use any trick at all to make my life easier, including candy.
Sweet, delicious candy.
So we gave Niko his first dose early in the morning. Nesko sat with Niko in his lap and held him, I explained my way through the spacer/inhaler use, and then… 2 M&Ms! There was a struggle with the first use, but less of a struggle the second time. We dosed him again right before leaving the house to drop him off at Baba’s. He was reluctant at first, but the second dose? He was calm as anything. Patient. Compliant. The proud possessor of 2 M&Ms afterwards (although not for long, he quickly ate them).
My in-laws dropped him off (complete with a haircut/trim by my FIL, a man with 30 years’ experience cutting his sons’ and now his grandson’s hair), and we had some cuddle time and then I pulled out the spacer. He objected, not too strenuously, at first but when he saw the bag of M&Ms? Oh my yes. He cuddled in my lap and I put the mask on him and counted and demonstrated big inhales and he did everything I wanted him to do, as calm and patient as anything. I gave him much praise and 2 M&Ms after, and we read a short book, and then did the second dose. It went even easier than the first dose. Thank God.
I really hope that his ability to be bribed to use his spacer means we can also quickly and easily (and successfully!) incorporate bribery into potty training.
Anyway, after all that we read another book, then went to bed, where we read our traditional 2 books in bed… or tried to. He is having a love affair with a Richard Scarry book that has cars in it over a two-page spread, which means he ASKS for someone to read him the book but REALLY he just wants to keep turning the pages to that spread so he can look at the cars. Well. He is not allowed to do that all night. So I gave him fair warning I was going to turn the lights out on the count of three, did so, and didn’t force him to give up the book. He “read” the book with the lights out, then fell asleep with it on his face.
This is not the first time he’s fallen asleep with a book. Previously he feel asleep curled up with one.
Adorable? Yes. Nerdy? Oh hell yes. My child? Oh, definitely.
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My parents used punishment instead, which had the result of making me mad at them and all the more reluctant to do what they wanted, because when I did it I felt like I'd lost a war. Bribery, on the rare occasions that it was tried, worked a charm, because eventually I'd realise that whatever-it-was was not so awful as I'd feared and then I didn't need the bribe so much.
Most of the things I balked at as a child were things I was afraid of or things that made me feel 'less than' (like when they wanted me to call adults Sir or Ma'am; that never did sink in). I don't think you're likely to do much of the 'less than' so mostly I'm telling you this because I think we easily forget how scary new things can be to children.
Like, maybe the spacer feels scary, or looks dangerous (it was kind of freaky for me the first time I encountered it, and I was almost grown, and nobody would explain why it was important). Inhalers are actually scary if you don't know what they are--they shoot stuff into your mouth that doesn't taste good and sometimes makes you cough a little, then you feel all jittery for a while. Knowing why we use them anyway is helpful.
I remember being very little and being afraid that I would fall into the potty even though I had a plastic potty seat. What if it broke? Would I flush myself away? It would have been nice if the adults had thought to ask me "What are you scared of?" or even "Are you scared" or "Why don't you want to?"
But my mother in particular was far more concerned about being in control and having her authority acknowledged than she was in figuring out if I had a reason for not wanting to do certain things. She was also into scaring me, which was unfortunate: "you will get PERTUSSIS and DIE" was much less real to me than "if you don't get the shot, you could get very sick and you'd have to stay in bed for a WHOLE WEEK" would have been.
Children usually do have reasons, and if they can't articulate them when asked it's usually because they either haven't learned the emotional words yet or are afraid but do not know how to put the scenario in their heads into words.
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He does better with transitions and new things when we tell him what's going to happen, and explain as we go. So I talk him through using the spacer/inhaler and I count out loud, and then praise him lavishly afterward and give him a bit of chocolate. I think it DOES make him feel jittery, and I think it makes his hands tremble after he uses it, which is a very odd feeling. However, I'm already noticing a difference in his breathing (I hadn't realized how constricted he sounded basically all the time), and in his coughing (his coughs sound more open now, like he's able to get a full lung of air and then expel whatever's in those lungs, and he doesn't gasp or wheeze after, and he's coughing less, and there's no recovery time after, etc). I'm hoping we don't have to use it much longer, but it's not the end of the world if we do.
I'm so incredibly glad we have a pediatrician who listens to us, asks pertinent questions, and doesn't shrug off our concerns or decide that he's "too young" for asthma... especially as he most likely has cough variant asthma which isn't as common as regular asthma and isn't detected as much as it should be.
When I was... 6? 7? I was diagnosed with allergies and prescribed a nasal spray that was an aerosol. It was SO COLD and uncomfortable and gave me headaches (from the cold) that I did everything in my power not to use it. My parents eventually just gave up. They tried threats, pinning me down, etc. Bribery? No. That probably would have worked.
I've stopped pulling the plug when Niko's in the bath, because he's entering the stage where kids get afraid of being sucked down the drain. I get him out, then come back later and pull it. So far, no problems.I mean, that's a problem that's so common... why court it? It's a developmental thing, not kids being "difficult" or "unreasonable" or whatever. There's no 'getting over it," just growing up.
When Niko objects to something, there's usually a reason. Sometimes it's that he's a toddler and he's feeling out of control and wants to take control, but sometimes it's something else. He's a really easy going guy, but he's stubborn when pushed, so getting to the root of the problem is usually a lot faster (and more satisfying) than pushing the issue. Dude can hold a grudge.
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He sounds so adorable. Albuterol makes me really, really jittery, so I'm glad I only have to use it as a rescue inhaler.
I am so glad that they've switched to non-HFC aerosols for asthma and allergy meds. My inhalers used to be that cold and it was awful. I also have to shoot stuff up my nose twice a day and I would hate for it to be cold. You have my sympathies!
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I use an OTC nasal allergy medicine now. It's called "nasalcrom" and the name CRACKS. ME. UP. I use that, Visine-A (allergy eye drops), alavert, and an inhaler and have mostly been able to stay on top of my allergy/asthma problems. I wish we had the money for a cleaning person to come in and dust/sweep/do the blinds. In theory Nesko could do it, but he's gone for about 12 hours a day every day between his commute and his work. Buh.