Totally Effective Things I Say To My Kid: A List

[brigid]

Here is a list of totally effective things I say to my kid in an attempt to parent and discipline him:

• Hey!
• Stop it!
• Seriously, knock it off.
• Did you hear me?
• What did I just say?
• Why did you do that?
• WHY did you DO that?
• Is that a good idea?
• What do you have?
• OH GOD PUT THAT DOWN.
• I’m going to count to three.
• Is that a good decision?
• I’m going to eat your face.

Mirrored from Now Showing!.

Comments

[brigid]

He is starting to move past the licking of things stage, although he will sometimes lick a thing (the wall, my foot, a table top, the floor) just to get a rise out of me, I think.

[kayote]

What did you just eat?

comes out of my mouth way way more than I ever expected. And L isn't so much for stuffing random things in his mouth. Unless they are small and on the floor. Fuzz is apparently a delicacy, bonus points if it is sock fuzz.

[brigid]

WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH

and

GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR BUTT

get their fair play around here.

[msmcknittington]

I have told middle schoolers to stop licking each other. They do it just to be disgusting.