brigid: Two adults and a child, wearing gas masks, peer into a pram. (parenting)
I know some of you have been following me for a long time, since before I even had a kid.

That kid is now 13, and asked me a few years previously not to discuss them on FaceBook unless I asked first. I had already begun phasing out blogging about them. I do mention them on twitter sometimes but twitter is so fast paced that those mentions are just a few droplets in a fire hose.

I took down that baby blog about a year ago and am eventually going to go through and lock posts here as well.

Anyway. I have an amazing kid. Any mentions of said kid are going to be entirely about me (for instance, a recent post about fertility issues), a minor aspect of a larger thing (for instance, I had a bunch of errands to do which involved dropping them off at a friend's house), or something posted with their explicit permission.

It used to be easier for parents to blog about their kids knowing that the primary makeup of their audience was other parents, and that these blogs could be helpful (I gained some very specific valuable knowledge that has helped me in parenting) and cute and sweet and, sometimes, an example of what not to do. Even with the blogging landscape having changed, shifted to instagram and tiktok and youtube and choreographed family dance routines and stuff... parents post stuff about their kids and with their kids that isn't seen just by other parents any more. It's seen by the entire world and that includes their kids' friends and teachers and neighbors.

It's a real invasion of privacy.

And one of the big things is fifteen years ago? People largely just didn't think about that. It wasn't recognized as a concern for the most part. But now? People talk about it. Kids who were (or still are) involved speak out about it. And folks keep on doing it.

So many people HATED Dooce and Amalah and Finslippy and some other "mommy bloggers" for "monetizing their kids" but it was absolutely nothing like what happens now, and most of the influencers doing this shit don't get anywhere near the push back... maybe because so many of them are more aspirational?

I miss seeing facebook memories pop up something else about Nikola... I think the most recent entries were from 2017? There's so much to forget, and those little fb entries... some just a sentence or two long... can trigger some powerful memories. I guess I could post them in entirely private/locked posts but... I don't know.

Anyway, I don't personally know anyone who treats their kids like that, and I love updates about other peoples' kids, and maybe I'll post some stuff that's locked but I've pretty much gotten out of the habit of writing about my wonderful, charming, very tall, hilarious child except in... brace yourself... an actual facts paper journal. (It's a calendar with spaces for daily entries/to-do lists and I can write about a paragraph and also I put stickers all over the place.)

Much love to all you parents and guardians and cool aunties/uncles and grandparents and assorted other caregivers out there.
brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

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Nikola, almost six, is an only child who never attended day care or much in the way of play groups. Pre-Kindergarten and its broad swath of germs and viruses hit him hard. Kindergarten is hitting him less hard, but that’s like saying getting struck down by a golf cart is better than being flattened by a fast moving freight train. You’re still on the ground counting your bones and wondering what hit you.

Niko has a gross cold that leaves him snotty (although he’s finally figuring out how to blow his nose) and with a nasty cough. I kept him home from school yesterday because the cough was disrupting his sleep and he was on edge and poorly. Then last night his cough progressed to triggering vomiting. Thankfully he knew what was up and called me in to help him and we kept the mess pretty contained, at least physically. But he doesn’t enjoy vomiting, or coughing excessively, or feeling out of control, especially at 1:30 in the morning. I mean, who does? So the coughing till he pukes events usually progress to crying till he coughs more and then pukes again. One of my mom jobs is to calm him down when he gets worked up (even when he’s healthy, as he has asthma) because crying can lead to coughing can lead to grossness.

I cleaned up the puke, got him calmed down, helped him blow his nose and drink some water, cranked up his humidifier, fluffed his pillows, and did everything else I could to help him sleep comfortably. I gave him the last of the liquid benedryl we have on hand because it can shrink swelling in nasal passages and dry up postnasal drip, helping ease coughing and make breathing easier. He declined the codeine cough syrup we have for him (it tastes like fire) but if he’s coughing this much again tonight I’m going to insist he take it. But other than that, there’s nothing I can do. I mean, I can sit up on the couch with him, supporting his body so he’s not lying down, and hope that helps his cough. I can push fluids into him during the day, and feed him chicken soup. I can take him to the doctor (where they’ll say “yup, that’s a cold, keep him hydrated. that’ll be $25 please.”). But I can’t really make him better.

Most cold remedies don’t work any better than a placebo, while also having some pretty severe side effects, especially for children. There’s nothing I can give Niko to make him all better. If I could pull the sickness out of his body and endure it myself I would. All I can do is try to make him comfortable and be thankful this isn’t Pertussis.

Pertussis, also known as Whooping Cough for the whooping sound of the coughs, or 100 day cough because of how long the illness usually lasts (10 weeks or longer, ie, over 2 1/2 months), is a highly contagious bacterial infection. It causes coughing so extreme that people wit it vomit, can break ribs, or become utterly exhausted. After coughing they can pass out; during coughing they can wet themselves, tear open arteries, burst capillaries in their eyes, or develop hernias. Infants don’t always develop the cough, sometimes they just stop breathing. Complications include pneumonia, encephalitis, and seizures. Despite the fact that a Pertussis vaccine was developed in the 1940s and has been proved resoundingly effective and safe, people are still rejecting it out of fear and misinformation. And so a disease that could be completely eradicated in the USA has pockets where it lives and strikes those most vulnerable to it, hospitalizing many of them and killing some of them.

Nikola will be sick for a week or two. He’ll probably miss 4-5 days of school (a school week). He’ll be gross and miserable and he’ll probably get this one or two more times this school year, and hopefully will get it less often next year. We’ll continue to treat him kindly and gently and help him use his inhaler so he can breathe better. He’ll be miserable and I’ll be miserable and I’ll lie awake at night listening to him cough and worrying, and listening to him NOT cough and worrying about THAT.

But it’s not Pertussis, at least.

That’s something.

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

I have a lot of adult nerdy friends who take personal days from work or schedule vacation time around midnight showings, release dates of video games, and the like. The final Harry Potter book drops at Midnight? Go get dinner with friends, stand in line for a few hours, then go home with some coffee and read the book in one sitting, enjoying your glorious vacation time and the memories you made. Some of my adult nerd friends have kids who are following in their footsteps, and have had to ask themselves hard questions about supporting child nerdery.

Me, I made my decision while waiting in a long snaking line for the first midnight showing of the first “Lord of The Rings” movie with friends. There was a lot of banter, among strangers, about the books and the Silmarilion and the early rotoscoped cartoon. There were a few kids there as well.

I should step back a bit further. Apologies for this very non-linear post.

Nesko is a huge Tolkein nerd and re-reads “The Lord of the Rings” at least once a year. When we were first dating, it was one of the many things we had common ground in. I have extremely fond memories of my mom (who has a learning disability and doesn’t normally read for FUN although she loves stories) reading LotR to me chapter by chapter at bedtime as a kid. Nesko and I broke up for about a year, for REASONS, and it was good that we did. But during our break media buzz for LotR started and I kept thinking about Nesko and how much he loved those movies and how it wouldn’t be the same, watching them without him. And then 9-11 happened and I realized I didn’t want to live in a world without him, and I called him, and we decided to be friends. Taking it very slowly we ultimately decided to try dating again, and it was successful. I don’t remember if we were in the “dating again” phase or not when we stood in line discussing LotR trivia. But it was a special time, with special friends, and I’ll always remember it as something important.

Midnight showings are something special, something out of the ordinary. They’re a special occasion, a moment better remembered for their rarity.

I don’t think they should be preserved for adults only.

By which I mean, when Niko is old enough, I have no problem with escorting him to late night functions on a school night if he’s in a good place academically. What do I mean by “a good place academically”? I mean he’s trying very hard at school, up to date with his school work, and not having disciplinary problems.

I know people, including some family members, who really disagree. Kids need to be in school! School is important! They can skive off work when they’re adults and have PTO to spend!

Except what if he winds up working a job where he doesn’t get PTO, he can’t afford to take time off? Which, honestly, is where Nesko and I have been for most of our adult lives.

I have a lot of regrets about my youth. Some of them have to do with applying myself more and working harder, but most of them are about being too serious. I wish I’d known how to take myself less seriously, how to have fun more. Like a lot of people, I was told to wait until I was out of college and in “the real world” to take vacations or have fun. Well, I’m 34, and the only vacations I’ve had since I was 18 were a road trip to Texas in January several years ago and a family reunion in Indiana this summer. Adults have more responsibilities and more  places their money needs to be. I wish I’d gotten more piercings and dyed my hair more colors and had more fun during the time when it was acceptable to do so. Now when I think of getting another piercing, I’m quickly reminded of all the better uses my money could be put to (new couch! new shoes! new kitchen! DENTAL WORK!).

I know that Niko’s going to grow up and disagree with a lot of our parenting choices, and probably regret and/or resent some of them. That’s how parenting works! But I’d like to give him as much joy as possible, and teach him that the entire world doesn’t rest on his shoulders and it’s ok to take time for himself sometimes.

Where do you stand?

If you have kids, would you let them take time off school to do special things?

What rules would you set up about this?

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

What does your family look like?

The whole “nuclear family” concept of a married cisman and ciswoman raising their biological kids, all other relatives distant, is a really new concept. Until recently– and this is still de rigueur in many countries– multiple generations and siblings and siblings’ kids all lived together. Resources were pooled. There was always someone to watch the kids while other adults did laundry or worked in a factory or worked in fields or hunted or made dinner or whatever. The “modern” life so many of us lead is an isolated one, and a fragile one.

I did something to  my knee on Tuesday, something painful enough that I almost didn’t make it home. I’ve been hobbling around ever since. I’m improving each day, and now that I have a cane I’m walking almost normally. But I’m not up to walking Niko to and from school. Luckily for me, G is here to handle that.

G is a friend of ours. I’ve known him for over ten years. He lived with us for 2 years previously, an arrangement that ended only because he got head hunted for a sweet job on the West Coast. He’s an artist (you may have played video games he’s worked on) and he’s been doing a lot of freelance work lately which means he’s at home all the time and available during the day for boring personal errands like picking my kid up from school half a mile away. It’s really nice knowing that I can rely on him.

My parents live an hour away, at least, and both work full time (or more). One of my brothers is in the Marines and the other actually lives close to us but is super busy with work and music. Nesko’s family lives a mile away, but his dad’s out of state taking care of something, his siblings all work, and his mom doesn’t have access to a car because we’re borrowing it while Nesko’s car is in the shop (it’s been out of commission for about a month and $3k so far).

If G wasn’t here, how would I get my kid to school? He’s 4, there’s no way he could go by himself. There’s no busing. I don’t think any of his classmates live close enough to him to walk. I could ask a friend of mine for rides, but his kid is also in a half day afternoon program that starts and ends the same time as Niko’s but at a different school. So what? A series of expensive cab rides? Just keeping him home?

Our family is made up of a mama and a tata and a child and G. It’s a good family and it feels right. It feels supportive and loving. We’re all born into families but as we grow and mature we create our own families as well. We build relationships and tend them and nurture them. We support each other. G and I aren’t related by blood but we’re still family and I love that. I’m glad that we’ve been able to build something like this. I’m very glad that I’m able to rely on him.

I’m very lucky that I have the friends that I have, and I’m also lucky that I have the family I have– the family I was born into, the family I married into, and the family that we’re creating.

What does YOUR family look like? Are you close to your parents? Do you get along with your in-laws? Do you have a multigenerational set up? Are you part of a hippy commune? What works for you, what needs work? I’d love to hear how you handle your life.

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

Today isn’t just the first day of school in Chicago, it’s Niko’s first ever day of school. He’s starting preschool at our neighborhood school. Since Chicago is so big, there’s a bunch of little (and medium and large, his school is actually pretty large) school buildings and you default into a specific school based on your address. But there’s also Selective schools that, for higher grades, are Gifted or STEM or International Baccalaureate or various flavor of Charter or what have you. It’s incredibly hard to get into Selective schools in Chicago. Like, there’s literally hundreds more kids who qualify for and want to get into separate Gifted programs than there are available slots (Niko’s school has a Gifted track, but I don’t think all neighborhood schools do). We are going to have to do some serious thinking while Niko is in kindergarten about what kind of school we want him to go to for first grade and on, because generally speaking if you don’t get into your first choice school in first grade (or 6th or freshman year or whenever the school’s lowest grade is) you’re never going to get in. There’s just so much competition, so many students waiting to get in. Which means a lot of kids start really specific types of schooling (STEM, Classical, IB, a school with a fantastic music program, a school with an emphasis on physical education, etc) when they’re like 6… which is ridiculously early to make those kinds of decisions. So we might just go with the flow and keep him at his neighborhood school and supplement at home and with museum memberships and stuff. But then if he’s at a neighborhood school, will he get into a competitive high school and then college? I kind of resent that I’m feeling pressure NOW, when he’s FOUR, to do everything right so he has a successful adult academic career (which, I mean, that assumes he even WILL go to college and not just, like, become an auto mechanic or electrician or something else he’d go to a trade school and apprentice for).

I have an Anxiety Disorder and tend to spiral into alternate universes of WHAT IFs at the drop of a hat, so I’m trying really hard to just… Let Go and focus on the important thing right now, which is to shepherd Niko through preschool. The school is being less than helpful by waiting until super late to send out official notices (including school supply lists, nearly creating a financial issue for us), and not telling us ahead of time which door in a building the size of a full city block we should enter for his first day of school. I mean, if they’d just included the notice “Use door X which is on street Y” we wouldn’t have started the first day of school literally soaking with sweat and flushed from walking 4 additional blocks, quickly, in 90 degree heat. I’m also a little peeved that I signed him up for morning classes and they plunked him into afternoon, which take place riiiiight when he’s normally taking a nap. But there were too many kids signed up for AM so whatever.

But now we know what door to go to and what to do if he wants to eat lunch in the cafeteria first and we plan to have donuts or ice cream every Monday after school, and we know for sure which class he’s going to be in and which time, and that he’s going to have 3 field trips this year (the zoo, the Shedd Aquarium, Navy Pier). He’s got his own cubby and he’s met most of his class mates (and WOW there is a girl in his class who is a future Homecoming Queen/Lady President) and he’s gone on record as saying he won’t cry tomorrow when I drop him off and leave him there. So we’ll see how it goes.

School is a half mile away so unless I hang out up there (at the school? at Dunkin Donuts down the street?) I’ll be walking 2 miles a day to drop off/pick up. I’m not looking forward to doing that come winter. But we’ll survive.

Niko Dressed Himself

Niko Going To School

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

When I was still taking art classes, I had a session on how to construct a portfolio. One of the tips was, of course, make sure EVERY PIECE is good. And if you’re doing sequential art, show that you actually can DO sequential art, can tell a story through art, not just have a bunch of splash pages and pin ups. But specifically, we were told to have your strongest piece as the very first one, and your second strongest one as the last one. That way, you set the tone with the first piece and then you end on a high note, so people viewing your portfolio are impressed right away and also leave with a good impression.

Then Nesko and I watched a pop sci show about how the brain works, and they just said lead with positive stuff and people gloss over the negative. First impressions super matter, apparently.

But I’m going to stick with what I was originally taught, and I’m going to sandwich some grossness between cute stories.

THE FIRST CUTE STORY

Niko no longer says “yes.”

When I say that, I don’t mean that he’s become suddenly and overwhelmingly negative. I mean that while he agrees to things, the word “yes” no longer passes his lips. Nor does yeah, or as he says it, “yay-uh.” No, it’s suddenly all “Sure” and “Of course.” As in, “Niko, would you like some milk?” “Oh, of course I would!” “Niko, would you please pick up your blocks?” “Oh, sure!” “Niko, would you like a hug?” “Oh, of course I do!”

WHAT EVEN IS THIS.

It’s like he has a secret handbook on being cute.

The other day, I asked him if he would like some applesauce and he said “Of course.” And then he said “Actually, I would really appreciate it if I would have some pudding instead, please.”

Actually.

I would really appreciate.

OH MY GOD.

Can I have another kid who’s just, like, a copy of him? Because he’s basically perfect. Except not as the next story will reveal.

THE GROSS STORY

At the age of four years and 5 months, Niko has decided that it is HIGH TIME he learns to wipe his own butt. He’s been using up flushable wipes at an alarming rate and we’ve been dealing with random poo fingers here and there. But then yesterday he apparently decided it was TIME TO STOP FUCKING AROUND. He approached wiping his own butt with a grim seriousness. LET’S DO THIS THING, he resolved.

And he started going in the bathroom every half hour to squeeze out some pathetic tiny turd nugget.

He’s kind of obsessed.

And suddenly, we’re back to having pants accidents.

“Mama,” he says sternly. “I had a little bit of a poop accident.”

He is not proud of these.

So I’ve been picking up flecks of feces from the bathroom floor, doing a lot of hand washing, reminding him that he can’t use an entire package of flushable wipes in one go, etc.

And then, just after Nesko got home, I was in the dining room when I saw what looked to my weak eyes to be a a brand new knot hole in the wooden floor. Wait. There was no knothole there before… was there? I prodded it with my toe. It went squish.

Look.

I don’t have a lot of expectations out of life.

But one that I cling to is the expectation that I can walk through my house without stepping in shit.

Nesko launched into a long story about how HE was working at a house with DOGS and they had to RUN A LINE and the yard was FULL OF POOP and I’m like, ok. That’s horrible and gross. But that, at least, is outside. In nature. Nature, you know, that thing that is a toilet for wild animals. THE GREAT OUT DOORS IS ONE HUGE TOILET. My house? Not so much. My dining room floor? NOPE.

nope_001

nope_002

nope_003

I just… no.

So then I patrolled the rest of the house, squinting at every smudge and speck, armed with a bottle of disinfectant and paper towels.

And then Nesko gathered Niko into his lap for cuddles and finger nail trimmings, and we discovered a motherlode of poo on Niko’s heel.

ugh_001

THE SECOND CUTE STORY

Niko has a baby.

His baby is named Baby.

Baby is a girl (a DWIR-OLE) except for when she’s a boy.

Baby currently lives in the bouncy seat that he used when he was an infant, that we’re holding on to until Nesko’s sister who just had a baby returns from Europe. At this point, we will have to evict Baby from her perch, her soft and cradling throne.

Niko sometimes carries Baby around, and feeds her cookies (wooden blocks, string, etc) or shares things he’s eating with her. “One little nut for me, and one for Baby. And one little nut for me, and one for Baby.” He invariably eats Baby’s portion, of course. He also brings her small toys, books, and shoes (?) for her to snuggle with so she doesn’t get lonely. And from time to time he decides that baby is taking a nap so he walks around and shushes us all because Baby is sleeping. Then he decides that Baby is fully asleep so we can be loud again. “Baby sure is sleeping hard! She’s a hard sleeper.”

Sometimes Baby needs a diaper change, or Niko decides it’s time to potty train her. He’s very encouraging. He cleans her up and cuddles her and says kind things.

It is the most adorable thing.

It almost makes me forget that I stepped in poop in the dining room.

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

Are you on Goodreads? I am!. Why don’t you head on over and check out my reviews.

In the meantime, here are some books that Niko especially enjoyed.

What books do YOUR kids enjoy? What books do you enjoy reading to your kids? What books stand up well to the “read this book 50 times in a row” test? Hit me up in comments!

"The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish"

“The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish”

“The Day I Swapped my Dad For Two Goldfish,” by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean, is the charming and seriously weird story of a kid who swaps his dad for two goldfish. His mom objects (of course) and he has to follow a chain of swaps to get his dad back. It’s a little adventure story. The illustrations are really something else. I bought this book in 1997, WELL in advance of having kids.

"Shimmer and Splash"

“Shimmer and Splash”

“Shimmer & Splash: The Sparkling World Of Sea Life,” by Jim Arnosky, is a lushly illustrated book by an artist/naturalist who really looks like he loves what he’s doing. This is a fantastic introduction to the ocean and the life in it, although it’s also very text heavy, so it can be hard to sit down and read aloud in one sitting. We usually read sections of this book, or Niko looks at it himself. Arnosky has written a lot of books about ~NATURE~ and I want to get more of them for Niko. NOTE: I won this book in a giveaway at Bebeh Blog.

"Dogs On The Bed"

“Dogs On The Bed”

“Dogs On The Bed,” by Elizabeth Bluemle & Anne Wilsdorf, is a rollicking, goofy, rhyming account of what happens when you have a bunch of dogs in your bed. It also made me miss having a dog, while being glad I’m not dealing with a bed-stealing, shedding, slobbery, fur furnace any more. A mixed bag! The illustrations are absolutely charming and expressive and the writing is playful and fun. This is a book that lends itself well to reading outloud, and expressively. I think the people who will most appreciate this book are people who love dogs and have more than one of them. A really fun read!

dinothesaurus

“Dinothesaurus: Prehistoric Poems and Paintings,” by Douglas Florian, is a playful and quirky book about dinosaurs. Unlike a lot of dinosaur books for kids, the text isn’t just rhyming. No, it’s actual straight up poetry, playing with line breaks and stresses and language. The poems are bouncy and fun, a joy to read aloud, unlike most stilted, predictable rhyming couplets you see in kidlit. The illustrations are likewise unique and crafted, vaguely reminiscent of Dave McKean’s painting-collages, but simplified. Toward the back of the book is more information about the dinosaurs mentioned as well as a bibliography of texts for more and deeper reading. If you’ve got a dinosaur lover for a kid, this book is a good addition to your library.

"It's Time For Preschool"

“It’s Time For Preschool”

“It’s Time For Preschool,” by Esmé Raji Codell & Sue Rama is a scripting book for kids entering school. A lot of kids don’t handle change or the unexpected well, and giving them a script and telling them what to expect can be very helpful. This book opened a lot of discussion and reassurance, and I’m going to pick it up again before Niko starts school this fall.

What Lives In A Shell?

What Lives In A Shell?

“What Lives In A Shell,” by Kathleen Weidner Zoehfeld & Helen K. Davie, is a book about shells and the animals that live in them. Some live on land, some live on water. Some are large, some are small. This early science book, designed for pre-k and kindergarteners, is a nice introduction to shelled animals. The text, and sentences, are short and engaging and the illustrations are clear and attractive. The book stands up well to repeat reads. It’s a great introduction to science book. I’m very pleased with this series.

get_wet

” I Get Wet,” by Vicki Cobb & Julia Gorton, is a solid science book about the science of water, including some fun and easy hands-on experiments kids and adults can do together. The text is simple and easy to understand, with some interesting artistic typography in places. The illustrations are fun, too.

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

Niko’s been making a lot of art recently. We worked on one together, but the other is all him.

niko_garden_art_collage

He told me that he wanted to cut out some flowers and glue them to paper to make a garden. So we sat down together and I helped him cut out some blossoms. He tried cutting out stems but got frustrated so I did that. He glued some of them down before getting bored so I finished that up, then he helped me glue the grass down. He drew the sun and I drew some clouds. I wanted him to draw the sun on a piece of white paper, or cut out a piece of yellow paper for the sun, but he would have none of that.

I’d like to do this again on a piece of bristol board, using patterned paper and a better glue (spray on adhesive instead of glue stick) because I think that’d be a cool piece of art. Using decorative paper punches that made flower heads, leaves, etc would also be cool/fun and speed things up quite a bit.

niko_art_allosaur

Remember when I mentioned the white board and how much Niko liked it? He’s been drawing a lot of awesome dinosaurs on it. This is one of them, an allosaurus. On the left you can see its enormous head and massive teeth and on the right you can see its feathered tail. You can also see its hands and feet with fingers/toes. FUN FACT: in Serbian, prst means both “finger” and “toe.” “Digit,” says Nesko. “It means digit.” I did not help with this one at all.

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

Niko has seriously levelled up in some aspects of his problem solving/helpfulness skills and it’s both adorable and ARGH NO STOP PLEASE NO at the same time. For instance, pouring his own drinks leads to massive spills, wiping his own pooey bum leads to poo everywhere, and jumping up and using a tool to turn on a light switch is an awesome idea but when that tool is a crayon it leads to crayon on the lightswitch/walls. There’s also the frustrating fact that he is ABLE to fully dress himself but still insists on us “helping” him where “helping” is “doing almost everything.” However, I think that’s primarily him being a bit clingy because a lot of stuff is changing and changing fast (Nesko has a new job and isn’t home as much, school is starting soon, we’re talking about moving albeit not for at least a year, etc). But I look at my little baby who came into this world as a helpless squalling grub, and every day I get closer to seeing the adult who’s going to leave my house.

He spent most of Saturday with his Tetka (aunt), and didn’t get home until pretty late. He had a super great time with her (he always does, she’s great) and before he left she told him that LATER ON as in IN THE FUTURE he could come over again and “swim” in the pool (a little wading pool, nothing big/fancy… if it was a real pool you know I’d rudely move in and never leave). He interpreted this, as little kids do, as TOMORROW.

So instead of sleeping in on Sunday he bounded into our bedroom, bright and alert, at 5:00 a. m.

I’M AWAKE NOW! IT’S TIME TO BE AWAKE! HEY WHY ARE YOU GUYS STILL SLEEPING?!? IT’S TIME TO BE AWAKE NOW! I NEED YOU TO HELP ME PUT ON MY SWIMMING CLOTHES! I’M GOING SWIMMING WITH TETKA NAMEREDACTED! I NEED TO PUT ON MY SWIMMING PANTS! WHERE IS MY WATER SHIRT? I’M GOING TO GO PACK MY BAG!

Then he scampered off.

He came back a few minutes later wearing swim trunks (over underpants).

I’M ALL PACKED NOW! WHERE IS MY WATER SHIRT? WHEW IT’S GOING TO BE A HOT AND SUNNY DAY, I NEED MY SUNSCREEM. WHERE IS MY SUNSCREEM? WE CAN ALL PUT ON SUNSCREEM AND GO SWIMMING IN MY LITTLE POOL. IT’S SOOOOOO HUGE IT’S ENORMOUS! I PACKED MY BAG! HEY, WHY AREN’T YOU UP? I NEED TO EAT SOME CEREAL YOU GUYS! I HAVE TO EAT A GOOD BREAKFAST BEFORE I GO SWIMMING!

I dragged myself out of bed and helped him get a bowl of cereal (WITH MILK OK MAMA) and told him he had to not wear underpants with his swim suit, so he stripped down and redressed in just the trunks. He scarfed down two bowls of cereal and I checked his bag. He’d packed:

  • a full change of clothing including underpants and socks
  • a hat
  • sunglasses
  • his water bottle
  • appropriate snacks in little containers

This child does not need me anymore, except to get things off of high shelves. OBVIOUSLY.

Nesko called his sister who was all yeah no, I’m busy all day, I meant LATER and we broke the news gently to Niko. But not until he’d told me just how BIG and HUGE and ENORMOUS his swimming pool is. Internets, his swimming pool is SO BIG it is the size of my butt.

Apparently my bottom is now a unit of measure.

I told him that my butt is pretty small for a swimming pool and he said OH HM WAIT NO. MY SWIMMING POOL, he said, IS THE SIZE OF THAT THING YOU GOT UP THERE and he pointed at my shoulder which, I mean, that’s even smaller than my butt. Whaaat?

He’s decided that today is a good day to have a picnic so he’s spread a little blanket on the floor and consuming all food (breakfast, snack, lunch) right there. I can dig it.

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I folded up a load of clean clothing for Niko, all neat little packages, sorted by clothing type and drawer (he has a drawer that holds pyjamas, underpants, and socks; and a drawer that holds long and short pants and long and short sleeve shirts, each of those getting their own section). I placed them carefully in a basket and told him to put away his clothing.

He refused.

He offered that I could help him, and we could work together, and I could put them away for him.

I declined.

He asked if he could watch tv.

I declined.

He eventually hoisted the basket and brought it into his room, threw it onto the floor, and stared at it, then stared at the dirty clothing on the floor next to his empty hamper.

Then he picked up one t-shirt from the middle of the pile, shook it out, walked over to the underpants drawer, opened it shoved the t-shirt in, closed the drawer, and walked back to the basket.

He proceeded to pick up each item individually, carry it over to the drawers, open the drawer, place it, and close it for each item. SO MANY EXTRA STEPS. He took many breaks to drink water, show me his electric train, pick up (individual) pieces of dirty clothing (one by one) and drop them in the hamper, move dinosaurs around, climb into the basket and rub his head all over the clean laundry, etc.

What should have taken five minutes MAXIMUM took fifteen and I finally grabbed a stack of pyjamas, thrust them at him, and ordered him to put them in the drawers. I did the same with the t-shirts, insisting LIKE SOME KIND OF JERK that they all go in the same drawer that holds his other t-shirts.

Oh my goddddddddddddddddddd.

He’s been super “helpful” all day including asking if he could help me clean the bathroom then rejecting all tasks I offered him and standing RIGHT NEXT TO OR BEHIND ME the entire time. Like a limpet, but one that tells really shitty jokes (why did the chicken cross the road? BECAUSE OF A RADIATOR!)

We started the day off, btw, by testing out our new sprinkler in the front yard. Our yard is so small it was hard to adjust it to not water other peoples’ yards and houses, the sidewalk, etc. One of our next door neighbors (who listens to Rush Limbaugh REALLY REALLY LOUDLY) came outside to monitor our progress and I started getting super paranoid he was getting pissed off at us for watering his steps but then he kept laughing at Niko’s antics so maybe he was just curious I DO NOT EVEN KNOW. Our sprinkler’s adjustable and I kept darting over to it, trying to avoid the spray and also make it not spray in peoples’ windows, and I’m sure that was comedic to watch. Niko looked like he was having fun the whole time, but after the fact he complained about how he hates getting wet and he hates water and the only reason he spends an hour+ in the bath tub splashing around is because he HAS to get wet to get clean. THE ONLY REASON. Playing in water is AWFUL and HORRIBLE and for SUCKERS. I didn’t take any photos of him pretending to have fun running into the hose and sprinkler because I didn’t want my camera or phone to get wet.

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When Niko and I went and enrolled him in pre-k, the teachers asked a few questions about his skills and if we read to him at home etc. They mentioned that it would be helpful if we could work on him writing his name. I think I’ve mentioned before that we have been working on teaching him to write, and I figured I’d tell you some of the stuff that worked for us.

Pencil Holding

I thought about getting some of those triangular finger positioners that you can slide onto pencils, but decided to skip it. Like a lot of really little kids, Niko has a hard time physically holding a writing utensil. One of the things that helps him hold his fingers the correct way is to put a little something in the palm of his hand for his smaller fingers to curl around. We initially used a bit of wadded up tissue, which he objected to. I picked up a little baggie of pom poms from the Target dollar bin and he likes those a lot better. We don’t have to remind him as often to hold his writing utensil the correct way, it’s becoming a habit with him.

Making Lines

There’s a few things we’re doing to teach him how to make straight, slanted, and curved lines (IE, letter components). One of the earliest things I did was draw dots on a piece of paper and have him draw a line from dot to dot. It was a fun thing that we did together, and we’d take turns making the lines. You could also use stickers or something for the “dots.” This ties in to later activities like connect-the-dots and draw-a-line-to-match games.

There are worksheets you can buy from stores or print from the internet that have dotted lines to trace, making up straight, diagonal, curved, etc lines.

brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

We had ISSUES yesterday involving TEARS and RECRIMINATIONS because Niko wanted to paint but didn’t want to clean up his toys first, which I set as a requirement… in part because I couldn’t even get TO his painting stuff to get it out, so thick were the wooden train tracks and stuffed animals upon the ground. He eventually came around and we Cleaned All The Things but he’d lost the urge to paint.

It came back this morning.

He helped me get his supplies, including spreading out the blue plastic table cloth we put on the table to protect it. He took off his shirt and painted several dinosaur scenes and practiced writing his name with big chunky paint brush and tempera paint.

I really need to video Niko painting because he narrates what’s going on while he creates. This is the sky and this is sand down here and here’s a Mamenchisaurus with its RIDICULOUSLY LONG NECK and its really big feet and here is a Diplodocus with its long neck and long tail and its spikes on its back and now here are its really big feet. And these are its footprints! And here are some clouds, because it’s going to rain and it’s going to rain on them and here are some rain drops falling on them and they’re falling on the ground and over here on the sea. This is the sea. And here’s a baby! It hatched out of this egg and here’s some other eggs in a nest.

It’s wonderful and adorable and he got very covered in paint. I had to scrub it out of his ear and one arm pit. TOTALLY WORTH IT.

After about an hour of painting we cleaned up and he got into his play dough and made an apple that is lumpy but recognizable as an apple, complete with stem and leaves, and then he made a potato (what?!?) and some cookies and a pancake.

He also lamented that it was SO SAD that he didn’t have A SPECIAL TABLE FOR HIS TRAINS like he’s seen at some stores. I reminded him that he has a really big table in the living room that he could PUT trains on, so he constructed a city on the table with wooden block sky scrapers, wooden train tracks, plastic trees, and rocks. There’s a train station with a parking lot.

After his nap we’re going to work on writing some more.

It’s a good life.

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After playing a bit of phone tag I finally managed to set up an appointment to come down to the school Niko will be attending this fall to enroll him. I had to bring his birth certificate and his medical card. If we didn’t have state insurance we would have had to bring other documents. The school wasn’t overly concerned with proving our address, I think, because it’s not a super great super desirable school. I’m not saying it’s a bad school, but some CPS neighborhood schools are HOT SHIT and people lie and scheme to get into them if they don’t live in the neighborhood.

The school’s 4 blocks (half a mile) away, which means I’ll be racking up 2 miles of walking a day once he starts, between drop offs and pick ups. We left early today to get to the appointment, because 4 year olds can be jerks on walks, and he kept insisting he was feeling pukey and needed to sit for a moment in the cool, cool shade under a tall, tall tree. Ha ha, what? Only he DOES barf when he gets over heated sometimes, only it usually involves 1) a car or 2) massive running around.

Despite our frequent stops, we got to the school early to enroll this boy.

It was interesting. The staff made 2 basic assumptions about our family, based largely on the neighborhood: 1) that we’re on state insurance (which is true, and we might continue to be on it (albeit paying for it) when Nesko’s eligible for insurance through work, we’ll see) and 2) that we don’t speak English at home (which would be true if my FIL had his way). Most kids coming into that school take a language fluency exam to determine which level of ESL classroom they’ll be in, but Niko’s really fluent in English (it’s his primary language) so he’ll just be in the English speaking class. School starts toward the end of August, there’s a class size of 22, and instead of buying supplies off a school supply list we outfit Niko with a book bag, give the school paper towels and tissues and hand soap, and pay a fee. That fee covers school supplies and a school-branded t-shirt they wear on field trips and for gym class. There’s two preschool classes, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and it lasts 2 1/2 hours. I signed him up for the morning class so he can come home and take a nap. I got a good vibe from the staff we met with. They seem very open, friendly, and caring. It sounded like they required Niko to be present (as opposed to “you can bring him if you need to” or whatever) but they didn’t really interact with him and instead he played with dinosaurs and then a really cool dollhouse while I filled out paperwork.

There was… a lot of paperwork.

I was kind of nervous or something… I’m dealing with some ~~ANXIETY~~ lately and being thrust into a new situation of enrolling my baby in school kind of ramped that up… and my hand writing was AWFUL. I was like “ahhh what am I dooooing I’m writing illegibly…. hand stop that. write nicely. hand! what the fuuuuuuck. I CAN PENMANSHIP I SWEAR IT!!!”

The regional gifted center is directly across the street and has a pretty nice (and completely unshaded and thus hot) playground. After all the boring paperwork I took Niko over there and he played with other kids and ran around for almost an hour.

My only concern with the enrollment process was that they asked some personal medical questions — which I understand the need for– but in a very public way. So you ask me, you know, is there any history of mental health issues in the family and I say yes… and I didn’t go into my own business because I was flustered but everyone around me (including other parents) heard what I said. And they asked why I had a C-Section. Some other medical stuff. Internets, you know I bloviate endlessly about the horrific mysteries of my gross body, but that’s somehow different from dropping info bombs in front of the parents of Niko’s future classmates. On the internet I discuss shitting my bed immediately after having a C-Section. In real life, I try to abstain from the grossity. Given the set up (a bunch of grown ass adults crouched on tiny chairs around circular tables in a class room) I don’t see how that could be prevented, though.

The teacher he will probably be having next year asked that we practice with him writing his own name. He’s gotten good at his nickname, but we’ll work on the whole name.

We need to get him a physical and dental visit and have the appropriate doctors fill out paperwork, but don’t need to do a vision or hearing screening (the school handles that), which is nice. They also offer flu vaccines.

Anyway, after the enrollment and playground playing we stopped at Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins for ice cream (which, as usual, turned into a donut) where I realized I didn’t have 1) my bank card or 2) my transit card. WIN! THIS IS WHAT WINNING LOOKS LIKE! Luckily I had a $5 Visa Gift Card that had enough of a balance on it to pay for our donuts, and when my emergency transit card turned out to be expired the driver just waved us through. Now Niko’s sitting around in the living room in his underpants, eating ice cream and playing with dinosaurs, and what I thought was a sunburn on his arms is pretty much faded, whew.

So.

Preschool in August.

Wow.

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IN THIS BLOG POST I discuss miscarriage in general and my own uterine activity specifically.

If you don’t want to deal with either, scroll on past or whatever you need to do.

i have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Uterine Fibroids, and Endometriosis. Any one of those things can and do negatively impact pregnancy. You combine the three of them, though, and you wind up with me feeling incredibly lucky that I have a kid at all. I’ve also had a lot of failed pregnancies. One was pretty awful, a miscarriage in the early part of the second trimester that left me in a pretty deep Depression for over a month and also left me terrified through my entire pregnancy with Niko that he’d, like, fall out… especially if I pooped too hard. YOU GUYS I WAS AFRAID TO POOP. It’s been four years since he was born, though, and we’ve been more or less trying to have another kid for three of those years, and… I don’t think it’s going to happen.

I’ve had several miscarriages ranging from “faint positive sign at 4 weeks followed immediately by cramps and heavy bleeding” to “period 7 weeks late with no positive sign WHOOPS HELLO ELEVATOR SCENE FROM THE SHINING” to “strong positive HA HA NO PSYCH” to the most recent “faint positive at 8 weeks, evacuation of uterine contents a week later.” I’m on the tail end of that one right now, and it generally sucks (I especially resent having over a month of nausea with nothing to show for it) but I’m over all sad with a small s and not falling into anything deeper. I’m at the stage where I’m just… ready for the intermittent cramps and bleeding to end once and for all so I can go about my life again.

And then last night I had the worst dreams a formerly pregnant person can have.

Basically, I had a series of dreams where I discovered that I hadn’t really had a miscarriage and WHOOPS time for the baby to come! And I didn’t have any baby stuff, but that was ok I could handle it; and I didn’t know where Nesko was, but that’s ok I could handle it; and I didn’t have a doctor lined up, but that’s ok, I can handle it; and I didn’t have anyone to watch Niko but that’s ok, I can handle it. So most of the HELLO HAVE A BABY anxiety dreams I normally have? The anxiety wasn’t there. All that was there was a tiny, perfect little baby; so heavy and squirmy and smelling of milk and Johnson & Johnson shampoo and lotion. And I held that tiny little baby girl and I fell in love SO HARD, you guys, so hard, with all my heart and soul and guts and every bit of my being. And I looked at her and at Niko and at Nesko (who showed up I guess) and we were all together and my family was finally complete.

I had several dreams like this.

And each time I fell in love all over again, and each time I woke up and it was obviously all a dream and I was so sad.

I don’t have that baby.

In addition to my internal issues I’m 34.

I will probably not be having another baby.

Our family’s going to have to be complete the way it is right now.

I’m feeling kind of down about that.

My jerk brain really isn’t helping at all.

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My dad called me the other day and proposed that he and my mom would take us to Brookfield Zoo to see the Dinosaurs Alive! exhibit. They know Niko’s true and abiding love of dinosaurs, and thought he’d get a kick out of seeing some animatronic dinosaurs up close and personal. They were totally right!

Unlike Lincoln Park Zoo, which is free and closer to us, Brookfield Zoo has an admission fee and many exhibits have additional fees/admission costs as well. As such, we’ve taken Niko to Lincoln Park Zoo a few times, but neither Nesko nor I have been to Brookfield Zoo in at least twenty years. It was a little weird returning there, at least for me, since so much is the same as when I was a kid.

We parked in the North Lot, which cost $10, and met my parents. We went in together after my mom bought a family membership, which was cheaper than buying admission for 4 adults and a child and will let us come back many other times. As soon as we got in, my dad went to rent a wheelchair for my mom, who is having some hip pain, and I went to rent a wagon to haul our stuff. We’d brought a cooler of canned drinks and sandwiches, and a big bag that held swimming stuff, a towel, clean clothing, some chips, etc. There’s a splash pad we thought Niko might have fun at, but we wound up not hitting that side of the park. Brookfield Zoo has Electric Convenience Vehicles (scooters) for rent, but were out of them, so if you need one you probably need to get there super early OR call ahead to reserve one. The Wheelchair was $10.00 to rent it, but you need a credit card as a deposit; the wagon was $8.00 with an addition deposit of $10.00 which you get when you return the wagon and a barcode-printed piece of paper they give you. Niko wound up riding in the wagon for most of the visit, taking up half the space with the cooler in the other half.

Our first stop was the carousel.

Niko riding a camel on Brookfield Zoo's carousel.

Niko riding a camel on Brookfield Zoo’s carousel.

Niko’s never ridden a carousel before, and this huge and beautiful one was a great introduction. He wanted to ride the camel, which was stationary, so was a good choice for a first time rider. He held on super tightly at first, as instructed, but soon was comfortable enough to wave hello and good bye as we spun past Grandma, Tata, and Pop pop. We also found one of the limited edition dinosaur Mold-A-Rama machines near the carousel, the Trachodon.

We headed for the Dinosaurs Alive! area after that, and stumbled across two more Mold-A-Rama machines for T-Rex and Apatosaurus. Dinosaurs Alive! requires an additional ticket, and has presentations on various dinosaurs at different times. There’s big animatronics of various dinosaurs, some old favorites and some lesser known ones. Niko was excited to see T-Rex, Stegosaurus, Amargasaurus, Carnasaurus, Spinosaurus, and others he loves and was really interested in the new-to-him (some recently discovered) dinosaurs as well.

Dinosaurs Alive! at Brookfield Zoo

Some of the animatronics had control panels/buttons one can push to make the animatronics move or make noise. The buttons were pretty high up, though, so a little kid or someone in a wheelchair would have a hard time reaching them without assistance.

Niko makes an animatronic Triceratops roar.

Niko makes an animatronic Triceratops roar.

There was a “Feathers and Fossils” exhibit under a tent (which was pretty warm) with some hands on stuff kids could do, including “digging” for “fossils” (molded bones embedded in a matrix and covered in shredded rubber, which they can brush aside with brushes), reproductions of fossilized bones and eggs people can touch, articulated skeleton replicas, and animatronic dinosaurs that move and roar. There was information about recent dinosaur discoveries, like juvenile T-Rex being covered in feathers, and brief presentations about competing theories like whether dinos were cold blooded or warm blooded.

A juvenile T-Rex animatronic, covered in feathers, at Brookfield Zoo.

A juvenile T-Rex animatronic, covered in feathers, at Brookfield Zoo.

I was disappointed that the only exit from Dinosaurs Alive! involved walking through the gift shop. Predictably, Niko melted down because he wasn’t getting toys (other than the Mold-A-Ramas he was clutching in his hands at the time).

We broke for a picnic lunch after the Dinosaurs Alive! exhibit, settling in on some benches under some shade. I brought sandwiches and stuff from home, which my mom didn’t think would be allowed. I double checked the zoo’s website and didn’t see any rules about outside food and drinks, or even if glass containers were banned. My gut says skip the glass containers though as many venues in Chicago ban them because of the dangers of broken glass. (Lincoln Park Zoo has a ban on disposable straws which doesn’t seem to be in effect at Brookfield Zoo, interestingly.) If you don’t want to schlepp your own big cooler around, though, there are a LOT of places to buy hot dogs, pulled pork sandwiches, fresh popcorn, massive soft pretzels, ice cream, beer, frozen cokes, and more. As you might expect, they’re really expensive. Like, $10 for a glass of beer expensive.

We sauntered over to the Dolphin Show after lunch, but we’d missed the show by like a minute (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) and the next one wasn’t for 90 minutes. So we scoped out the dolphins under water, and found the (pink) Stegosaurus Mold-A-Rama next to the (blue) leaping dolphin Mold-A-Rama.

Niko watches dolphins at Brookfield Zoo.

Niko watches dolphins at Brookfield Zoo.

Niko was starting to get tired, even though he’d been hauled in his wagon chariot for 90% of the trip, and turned up his nose at seeing the seals underwater. He lobbied hard to go play at the park near the 7 Seas Exhibit and of course we gave in. My parents left for home around that time. The playground had a train theme, almost as if they’d designed it to Niko’s specifications, and he had a fun time running around and playing tag with other kids.

Niko sticks his head through a conductor cut out at Brookfield Zoo's playground.

Niko sticks his head through a conductor cut out at Brookfield Zoo’s playground.

We lured him back into the wagon with promises of ice cream, and saw some more animals (a sleeping tapir, some sleeping kangroos…. or wallabies maybe?… some bored looking emu), and found the last two Mold-A-Rama dinosaurs (Stegosaurus and Corythosaurus) near the Rhinos/Elephants.

We returned the wagon, to Niko’s dismay. He really did not want to WALK on his FEET using his LEGS and there were several melt downs on the way back to the car that included him wailing “I don’t WANT to WALK. I’m too SLEEPY to WALK. But I really want ICE CREAM. I’m NOT too sleepy to eat ICE CREAM so I am WALKING but I DO NOT WANT TO WALK.” A woman ahead of us, pushing a stroller, kept laughing at him because he was being so dramatic and ridiculous.

We loaded into the car and drove off, stopping at a Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins where Niko once again elected for a sprinkle donut over ice cream. Dude loves his carbs I guess. He sacked out on the way home and had a really long nap, his Mold-A-Rama dinosaurs keeping watch over him.

Brookfield Zoo was really accessible using a big bulky wagon. My dad pushed my mom in the wheelchair (if she were a longer term wheelchair user I expect she’d push herself… I don’t know that she’s used a wheelchair before) and neither the chair nor the wagon had problems getting anywhere we wanted to go. There’s a lot of ramps, some of them sliiiiightly steep, but not enough to give us problems. I saw a lot of people with strollers, wagons, manual wheel chairs, electric wheelchairs, and scooters and nobody seemed to have any problems getting around or into attractions. Contrast this with Lincoln Park Zoo where I had serious problems getting baby Niko into newly constructed buildings when he was in a stroller… lots of exhibits had heavy narrow doors without automatic open buttons, and lots of stairs with no ramp or elevator alternative. So Brookfield Zoo definitely wins on physical accessibility, although it’s more expensive and can be harder to get to.

We didn’t look at many animals today. Our main focus was the Dinosaurs Alive! exhibit. I’m hoping that we can visit once a month or so with my parents’ membership and get to see more of the animals, including the Dolphin show.

If you’re thinking of heading to Brookfield Zoo, I’d recommend you check out the different pricing options, bring your own lunch, and consider renting a wagon or bringing your own. The wagon made a huge difference with a four year old in tow. Check out the zoo’s map and Exhibit and Animal Guide as well as the Exhibit Updates to plan your visit. Don’t forget your sunscreen, and your water, and have a great time!

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We have a membership to the Museum of Science and Industry. We have a family membership which includes OMGFREEPARKING. That’s $20 per trip saved, right there. If you are ever looking for a biggish gift for nerds and/or people with kids seriously consider a family membership to a museum or zoo near them. It’s well worth the money, although it can be a hefty initial investment, and I can guarantee you that they will think of you every single time they visit that museum or zoo. Trina, I love you SO MUCH, thanks for helping us stretch Niko’s brain.

Back when Nesko worked at his old job, he had Mondays off, which is pretty great for visiting museums. Especially when school is in session. Nobody’s there! He and Niko went to MSI a few weeks ago on a Monday and there were so few people that there were no lines and they got a special private tour of the Zephyr. With that in mind, I emailed a friend of mine and asked if he wanted to drag his kid out with us to MSI on a beautiful Friday.

He did! We made plans to go early in the morning, as he had a family thing to do that evening.

Morning was, of course, a scramble to get ready. I pulled a shirt out of Niko’s closet for him, one with buttons, and he was surprised that I’d pick so fancy a shirt. It’s not like we were going to church! I told him that sometimes it’s just fun to look nice and he agreed that he likes to be pretty and said that he hoped Beka likes his pretty shirt. While he was getting dressed, and I had soaking wet uncombed ratty hair, Elliot’s voice drifted in through the window. HE WAS EARLY. Possibly the ONLY of my friends/family who is punctual/early. WHAT. This is not what I was expecting! PUNCTUALITY? I hauled down Niko’s carseat and mentioned to him that he and Beka would be sitting next to each other in the back seat, which really excited him because THAT meant he and Beka could HOLD HANDS and he couldn’t wait to HOLD HER HAND in the backseat. (SPOILER: they didn’t hold hands in the car.)

Elliot hooked up the carseat in his glorious and enormous car that is stocked with books and toys like some kind of living room on wheels, and I scrambled to pack some snacks, and off we went! Niko only got a LITTLE bit carsick, sneezebarfing on his shirt and thigh. Once on our way, Elliot mentioned that this was a free day for MSI so there would probably be a lot of field trips there.

FUCK!

He was right.

He is usually right.

The museum was pretty busy and Niko was a little out of it from his rocky car adventure. We looked at the Zephyr a bit, looked at baby chicks, visited the play area that sneakily teaches physics lessons in the guise of chucking balls into water and building gears that move a hammer to strike a bell, and then took a break for a snack. Niko perked up considerably and we talked about what we’d do next.

Sadly, Elliot et al had a prior engagement that evening. We knew from the start that it would not be a LONG museum visit, but time was passing by and we decided to skip the (probably packed) ice cream parlor on premises to get ice cream someplace else.

The trip to get ice cream was a success in that nobody barfed. Yay! We stopped at a Dunkin’ Donuts/Baskin Robbins where Niko elected to get a donut instead of ice cream, and I got a massive iced coffee because SOMEBODY drank all the iced coffee in the fridge (that somebody may or may not have been me) (it was totally me) and picked up birthday crullers for a friend of ours. Niko and Beka charmed everyone at the DD/BR and had a mini dance party and Beka may or may not have proposed marriage to Niko.

We arrived at the museum at 10:30, left around 12:30 and got home around 2:00-ish.

2 hours ABSOLUTELY is not enough time to explore the museum unless you are spending it all in one area (for instance, only exploring the Zephyr, or other trains, or the baby chicks/DNA, or the history of bicycles exhibit, etc), but it worked well for us since both our families are used to MSI and pretty familiar with it. We hit some favorite stuff and bailed when kids started getting cranky/hungry. I’m far more likely to head out there with the parking being free, as there’s less pressure to get my money’s worth out of parking, which means I’m more likely to head to the museum period.

We have plans to get a membership to the Field Museum, so I’m really looking forward to that as well.

Elliot and Beka are free Tuesdays and Fridays so look forward to more exciting adventures from the four of us.

I have no awesome photos to post of this trip because my camera is absolute ASS and every single photo was blurry and dark. “That’s what burst mode is far!” Elliot helpfully advised. IT IS TO LAUGH. My camera doesn’t have burst mode. My camera is shit. How am I supposed to become a well known super rich blogger who lands a lucrative book contract and retires to live on my own private island without a super expensive camera? I’ll let you know when I figure it out.

IN TOTALLY OTHER NEWS, we were supposed to get letters this week saying which preschool accepted our kids. Neither Elliot nor I have gotten these letters yet, apparently they haven’t been sent out. Leah, I know you’re laughing at my pain. Knock it off. Still no idea where Niko will be going to school this fall. Or, really, if.

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brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

Niko was fooling around on the bed the other day when he rolled right off, banged into the wall, and hit the floor hard. No harm done, he laughed and scrambled back onto the bed. I called him a doofus, which delighted him, and he spent several minutes fake rolling off the bed and demanding that I save him. I generally oblige him, and rolled him back onto the bed each time.

Later on, we were playing and cuddling in the bed before starting the rest of our bed time ritual (brush teeth, wash face, medication, jammies on, 2 stories from a book, 1 story “from my head,” 1 song, cuddles, kiss and hug, that’s it) (Nesko’s bedtime ritual involves sleeping with him, sucker) when he started pretending to fall out of bed again.

“Save me mama!” he called. “Saaaave me! Mama, save me from being a doofus!”

“Aw, baby boy,” I said. “Nobody can save you from being a doofus. You can only save yourself.”

He promptly fell out of bed.

Mirrored from Now Showing!.

brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

Niko’s greatest love is dinosaurs.

After that, though, he loves mysteries. Also: trains, cars, My Little Pony, and Chicago’s architecture. But he’s really keen on mysteries and went through a phase where he was super into “The Great Mouse Detective” and “Busy Town Mysteries.” If someone is looking for something, his first question is ‘well, where is the last place you saw it?’ which is a pretty helpful question to ask.

He was helping me clean the dining room yesterday, running a microfiber cloth around the molding and windowsills and chair legs to dust them. Then he wandered off. I needed that cloth so I could dust the tops of some things, so I called him back into the dining room to ask him where it was.

“Hm,” he said, rubbing his chin. “Hm. It sounds like A MYSTERY.”

“Dude, just tell me where it is. Where did you put it?”

“I didn’t put it! It’s lost. It is… A MYSTERY.”

He walked over to his easel and flipped the paper out of the way, picked up a chunky piece of yellow chalk and tapped it against the chalk board.

“What did it look like?”

“What do you mean what did it look like? You just had it.”

He tapped the chalk board again.

“WHAT did it LOOK LIKE mama?”

“It was a yellow square of microfiber cloth.”

“Uh huh. Uh huh. AH HAH.”

He drew a close approximation of a square on the chalk board.

“A yellow square. OF CLOTH. Where is the last place you saw it?”

“You were dusting the window sill with it. Did you take it into the living room to play with?”

“I must LOOK FOR CLUES. You wait here.”

He ran off and came back with it.

“FOUND IT. I found it. SOMEBODY put it… IN THE LIVING ROOM. Another mystery solved!”

Mirrored from Now Showing!.

brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

Niko’s gotten really into coloring and painting lately. He pretty much exclusively is interested in dinosaurs ONLY and gets super pissed if a dinosaur that’s supposed to have spikes/plates/a frill/horns/etc isn’t portrayed as such so he will DRAW THEM ON while scolding the original artist. “How could they even DO THAT? They should KNOW that a Kentrosaurus has a big spike on its side! They should KNOW THAT!”

He likes to paint, mostly with tempera paint (finger paints make his fingers feel icky, so mostly he uses a Popsicle stick to scoop paint onto the paper then push it around). He paints stegosaurs and allosaurs and baby sauropods eating ferns, and he adds some trackways (footprints), and then he draws a giant comet coming straight at them. It’s a whole story process.

We used to set him up with an art easel in the kitchen, which has tile floor. Now that he’s marginally less prone to sloping paint EVERYWHERE I set him up on the dining room table, over the hard wood floors.

I pour some paint into these little paper cups I picked up for free somewhere. They’re about the size of a dixie or bathroom cup. A 1/2 cup sized reusable plastic storage container, small glass, or ice cube tray would also work. And then the pain, paper, etc gets set down on the plastic table cloth we saved from his birthday.

When we were ordering birthday decorating supplies, I splurged a tiny bit on a blue plastic table cloth. It’s meant to be disposable. I did not dispose of it. Instead, I wiped off all birthday crumbs, folded it up, and stuck it in our big white cabinet that holds printer paper, art supplies, and computer cords. And when he wants to paint I pull that sucker out and lay it down on the table. It’s water resistant, so if he spills a bit of water on it the water doesn’t soak into the table cloth or (antique) (and ugly, but emotionally priceless for Nesko) dining room table. It protects the table and table cloth from paint spills. And when he’s done, I just fold it up and put it away.

We’ve gotten a lot of use out of it. It’s way cheaper than “oil cloth” (which is not actually oil cloth, may I pedantically point out), and less likely to be impregnated with cancer-causing chemicals. It reduces my anxiety about paint RUINING EVERYTHING. And it lets Niko MAKE A LOT OF ART!!! Which he loves doing.

Speaking of child!art, what do you do with it? I have kept a total of maybe 3 pieces (two of which are drawings of us as a family, and the first drawings he made of humans) and I display the rest for a while before tossing it. Or I send it to family or friends. But really, I toss a lot of his art. I might scan or photograph some of his current stuff before tossing it, but really I consider it ephemera.

What’s your take on this?

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Mirrored from Now Showing!.

brigid: drawing of two women, one whispering to the other (me)

I was getting a jump on dinner, which includes a sauce that needs to simmer for multiple hours, when Niko hotfooted it into the kitchen with no pants on, demanding my help. WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS I demanded back and it turns out that when he said he had an accident he didn’t mean the bodily fluids kind but the full glass of water kind. All over the floor. And the external hard drive, ha ha ha! Ughhh.

It took me twenty minutes and three towels to clean this water up, and I had to wedge my fat self in between the couch and the wall to get the water up… off of our hundred year old hard wood floors. Niko hung all his colored dinosaur pictures up on the wall in the living room, and one of them got splashed and soaked. Markers, when wet, bleed ink all OVER the place. At least my laptop didn’t get wet.

Niko was dismayed at the accident, and get upset when I used a stern voice. “You can’t be angry at me!” he scolded “It was an accident!” I want him to always feel he can come to me, that no mistake is so big or horrible that he can’t turn to me for help. But Jesus Fuck he is four years old, when will he stop butterfingering glasses of water onto the floor? I’m very frustrated, especially about the external hard drive. I hope it withstood its tumble to the floor. There’s some photos on there that don’t exist anywhere else.

Focusing on the positive, he helped me out today by cleaning all of his toys out of the dining room and then helping me dust in there. Helpful!

Mirrored from Now Showing!.

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