Shoes, betch

[brigid]

Originally published at brigidkeely.com/wordpress. You can comment here or there.

Dear Internets:
I got fat feet.

It is hard to be a lay-dee with fat feet because shoe designers apparently think that all women have narrow feet and lack toes and have shortened Achilles tendons and therefore are very comfortable on stupidly tall heels.

Fuck that noise.

I had a pair of all-purpose slip-on shoes that I would wear to check the mail or take the trash out or do laundry. They were by the back door, and were very convenient and looked pretty decent, too. And then one day Nesko dropped my set of glass stacking bowls on the floor and they exploded into a million glittering shards, many of which landed in those shoes. In the interest of not getting glass bits embedded in my feet, I threw those shoes out. This began the quest for replacement shoes.

By “quest” I mean “wandering down to Payless and scowling at their limited selection.” They only had 3 pair of shoes total in wide widths in my size, and those were 2 pair of sneakers and 1 pair of insanely tall heels. I headed into the dude’s shoe section, which greatly disturbed the only man there, as well as everyone working there. They kept asking me if I needed help. OH NO I AM TOO STUPID TO KNOW THAT I AM LOOKING AT DUDELY SHOES.

I am apparently a 6.5 or 7 in dudely shoes, and am now the owner of a pair of slide on sandals. They don’t have a toe-thong, so I can wear them with socks if I want to (why would I want to? eh. It’s good to have options) and have 2 straps over the top of the foot with buckles so I can adjust them to my fat feet. I think they will work out pretty ok.

I also looked at baby shoes. They are so cute I almost died. Right there. In the store. While listening to Electric Six. Then I looked at the prices and came back to life. Shoes for infants: biggest scam in the world, or simply misguided?

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Comments

[sara]

Big scam. Though once mine were toddling I put them in Robeez, which are like moccassins. The important thing with baby shoes is really, really flexible soles, because baby feet are stiff enough as is without putting them in high tops with hard soles.

I buy shoes from New Balance and also online at Zappos (not that I buy a lot of shoes!) because Zappos actually stocks wide widths.

[brigid]

My sneakers are New Balance (and I have some fake-converse made by Airwalk; apparently they run wide), and I love Zappos. However, I don't have any shoes I can slip on easily, and none I can wear to the beach really. All my shoes are lace-up. Or high-heeled.