brigid | 006 Eternal Love (Reply)

Mirrored from brigidkeely.com/wordpress.

He is beautiful, and all he wants to do is love you: love all of you.

He is pale; light skinned with soft brown hair and pale eyes like water over stone or sand. His smile is sad and his touch is soft. He rides the El, and you can find him there at night. His hair is a little too long, too shaggy; his clothes are a year or two out of date. Many people don’t notice. He doesn’t look out dated, just… slightly faded. If you make eye contact he will smile that sad, soft smile — a shy smile– and say hello in his whisper of a voice. The train is loud, it rattles and shudders and screeches, and he is quiet. You’ll lean toward him to hear him better, but you will be able to hear him. The feel of his fingers on your knee is electric, thrilling.

You won’t remember what you talk about, what he says. All you know is that you like talking to him; he fills something inside of you and when he is gone you feel empty. Once you two have spoken, you will see him again, and again. He will move in with you within a week. He will cook for you, and watch you eat. His food is amazing; his sex even more so.

You will start losing weight rapidly.

He looks at you so sadly, with those big pale eyes, each glance an apology. He loves you so much, and in return, you hunger for his every look; his every word; his every touch. Your performance at work or school starts to suffer. Your friends notice that you no longer go out. They also notice that your excess flesh is dripping away like butter held over a flame. You look tired, drained. They ask if you’re well, if anything’s wrong. They irritate you. You cannot wait to get back home to your lover.

If you do not kill him, he will devour every last bit of you. He will take you into him, body and soul. It hurts him so: he does love you, truly. He loves every bit and part of you, even the parts you think are ugly; even the parts the world thinks are ugly. Nobody will ever love you as he does. If you do manage to kill him, that thought will taint every relationship you have for the rest of your life.