brigid | Yellow. (Reply)

Niko added a new word to his repertoire: Yellow.

He’s resisted saying this word, although he recognizes it and points to things that are yellow. But he wouldn’t say it. Just like he rarely says “pink” or “purple,” although he’s said them in the past. Just like he usually won’t say “djedo” (grandpa), instead referring to my father-in-law as “not baba” (not grandma).

I broke it down for him, chirping out “yeh-yoh!” in my brightest, most exclamatory voice. “yeh! Yeh! Can you say “Yeh?” Yeh-yoh!”. He picked it up very quickly after that, after the word was given to him in sounds he could reproduce, after he was given permission to say it the word differently (no “L” to trip him up).

My father-in-law came over today to fix our heat (which was out all weekend– glad it’s been warmer lately). Due to the nature of our vintage building, our heater is in what used to be the pantry (OH GOD I WANT TO RECLAIM THAT SPACE AS A PANTRY), and the fridge is in the doorway of that pantry. He was entering and exiting through what used to be a window (there’s a door over it) leading into the pantry from the external stair well. Niko gets super excited when his djedo is behind the fridge, and dances around in the kitchen trying to peek between the fridge and the wall to see into the little room back there and spot my FIL. He doesn’t think he’s inside the fridge, he knows he’s behind it (although that would be HILARIOUS). He was dancing around today calling my attention, and telling me that djedo was there. And he said “djedo.” Like, two or three times. It came out more as “dedo,” but it was recognizable. He was so excited, and so eager to communicate, that he said it even though it wasn’t “right.”

And then he wouldn’t say it later, even when djedo was playing with him, and trying to coax him into saying it.

We showed off a bit, and Niko said “blue” and “red” and “orange” (he says it fine now, no hesitation) and I pushed things and tried to get him to say “purple.” He wouldn’t. My FIL says he saw Niko’s lips make the shape for “P” and then he stopped.

He’s a careful and hesitant child in a lot of ways. I mean, you know, sure he’ll throw himself off the couch or clamber to the top of a seven foot tall slide and go shooting down, but there are some risks he just doesn’t take until his feet are under him.

Nesko and I both have perfectionist traits and while that’s something people list as a positive thing, it can really hold a person back when it gets out of hand. Niko isn’t doing things he is able to do, because he isn’t doing them well enough. He isn’t saying words he is capable of saying, because he isn’t saying them well enough. But look at him, he’s saying “orange” now when previously he wasn’t because it was hard. And each time he says it, it sounds better. So I’m confident he’ll, you know, eventually say “purple.” But I’m anxious for him, and I’m worried that this will impact him later in life.

In the mean time, I’m delighting in the fact that he kept pointing to my feet all day, at my fuzzy yellow socks, and saying “yehyoh. Mama yehyoh.” and then he’d pat his chest, his orange shirt, and say “ouraaaaaannnn.” And then he’d smile, all proud.

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