brigid | I can’t believe this works, but it does. FOR NOW. (Reply)

I needed Niko to do something the other day (come over to me, I think) and he wasn’t responding to me calling his name and saying “come here” in both English and Serbian. He was just not listening! He was very busy doing something else (probably playing with trains).

I tossed out a counting to three threat and was STUNNED when it worked.

And has continued to work something like 95% of the time.

I phrase it like this:

Nikola, I am going to count to three. If you don’t come here/get in bed/drop that/etc I am going to come over there and get you. One… (long pause), Two….(long pause), Three!

Sometimes I use the “threat” “I’ll do something you don’t like” (which, really, is me going over there and getting him). I did that the other day when I was on a step ladder while he was in another room, and then suddenly he was RIGHT UP BEHIND ME and not getting down and slightly pushing me off balance and I couldn’t get down with him right there. I am not sure what I would have done if he hadn’t done as I directed and climbed down, but once he was down I got down and then I let him climb up and down the ladder to his heart’s content (it’s only got two steps).

I think a big part of why this works is that it:

Tells him clearly what I want him to do
Gives him an ultimatum (if he doesn’t come here on his own, I will get him and bring him here)
Gives him a CHOICE (he can come on his own OR I will get him, but there is the same ultimate result)
Gives him time (until I count to three) to transition from what he’s doing to what I want him to do

Sometimes I’ll give him a second chance, if he was super into something and didn’t have enough time to wind down, and I’ll count to three slowly again.

But most of the time it works. And it makes all of our lives much easier.

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