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Help me out, here.
Nov. 7th, 2010 11:43 amMirrored from brigidkeely.com/wordpress.
I have 2 bags of cranberries in the fridge. What baked goods do you recommend I make? RECIPES PLEASE. Cookies, muffins, bread, cake. Lay it on me.
Why I vaccinate
Nov. 7th, 2010 11:36 amIt’s the tail end of vaccine awareness week, and if I’d had my act together I would have posted more about this issue, including more links. Instead, I’m going to write a bit about why I vaccinate my kid.
- I know people who had polio, spent years and years and years of difficult physical therapy to relearn how to walk, use their arms/hands, breathe, etc and now have post-polio and live in constant pain. The polio vaccine works.
- Many of the childhood illness vaccines prevent are not deadly, but can cause brain damage, blindness, and paralysis. I don’t want my kid to get that sick, and I don’t want any other kids to get that sick from him.
- Although I’ve been regularly immunized, I have no Rubella antibodies, which means that if I’d contracted Rubella while pregnant, I had a high chance of miscarriage or of Niko developing fetal anomolies. Vaccines don’t work 100% which is part of why vaccinating MANY people is necessary. The more people you vaccinate, the better off everyone is when it comes to suppressing or eradicating communicable disease.
- I have asthma and scarring on my lungs/bronchia from years of chronic bronchitis and infections. I’m more healthy since I had my tonsils out (at the age of 20), but I still get colds, the flu, and bronchitis very easily and since I have asthma I often develop a racking cough that lasts for, literally, a month. I vaccinate myself to prevent getting the flu and I vaccinate my kid so he doesn’t get the flu or pass it on to me.
- I have friends who are immunosuppressed and/or have tiny babies. I vaccinate to prevent the likelihood of passing something on to them.
- I live in an area with a high immigrant population, which means a lot of kids (and adults) here who shop at the stores I shop at, who I tutor, etc aren’t vaccinated. TB, Hep A, Measles, and other communicable diseases exist in pockets in my neighborhood and while I wash my hands regularly, I have a 19 month old who licks things. All things. I’m not trying to say that my neighbors are, like, disease vectors or anything– they are human beings. But we’re more likely to be exposed to certain illnesses.
- Study after study, independent research after independent research, has confirmed that vaccines do not cause Autism or Crohn’s Disease or mitochondrial problems. Take a good long look at the people claiming that vaccines are harmful. Strip out the worried parents from the picture and look at the “experts” and ask yourself: what are they selling? Are they, like “Dr” Wakefield, pushing a specific single vaccine that will line his pockets? Are they pushing dietary supplements? Harmful and expensive “alternative therapies”? Bear in mind that vaccines and administering vaccines costs less than the medication, time, and hospital stay required to treat the actual diseases they prevent.
- Some people cannot be vaccinated. They are allergic to a component of the vaccine (eggs, for instance); they have suppressed immune systems; they have hemophilia and so a needle injection isn’t a great idea; etc. Vaccinating myself/my child protects these people.
- Smallpox has been exterminated in the wild because of vaccines. Nobody gets smallpox anymore. Nobody dies of smallpox anymore. We have the chance to seize the future, to wield science like a weapon, and create a world where nobody contracts the measles, or mumps, or chickenpox, or whooping cough any more. We see these diseases primarily as childhood illnesses, rights of passage, and a few kids wind up dead or blind or with encephalitis or with broken ribs and pulled muscles from coughing and that’s sad but eh. It’s not statistically likely. WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO SAVE LIVES HERE.
There are reasons not to vaccinate, but those reasons are small and special ones and often linked to other health problems. Vaccinating YOUR child protects OTHER children. Vaccinating YOUR children is a very low risk thing to do, while it can save the lives, literally, of other babies and children and adults.
I vaccinate my child because I care about his health, and I care about my health, and I care about the health of people around me. I’ve read about my country’s history, about world history, and I’m aware of just how many children and babies died, how common young death was, how high infant mortality used to be. There’s a scene in the movie “Lord of the Rings” where someone comments on how gosh darned sad it is when a kid dies before his parent, how the world is out of order when that happens. That sure as hell was not in the book, written in the 1950s, when it was not uncommon for parents to look down on a tiny white coffin holding their hearts. Our past is so recent. We can make such drastic changes. Don’t let paranoid half-informed fear keep you from safeguarding our future.
Mirrored from Now Showing!.
Niko and I took the bus to the play ground that’s behind the building we lived in before this one, out in Edgewater. We had about half an hour to kill before the library opened, the bus that goes there was ready and waiting, off we went. Niko had a good time and climbed the big kid slides and slid down them (sometimes face first, which he’d never done before, thanks older kid for showing him that) and climbed them and slid down them etc. He started off nervous and hesitant but was soon confidant in his ability to CLIMB HIGHER THAN MY HEAD OH MY GOD I WAS SO NERVOUS and slide down down down safely. He had a good time, but when he started lying down and saying “shh” I figured it was time to go home and take a nap.
So we walked back to the bus, which we almost missed but the driver saw me waving and stopped driving and I muscled the stroller allllll the way up onto the bus because while he was willing to stop the bus he wasn’t willing to kneel the bus to make life easier so whatever. The bus was pretty empty, so I steered Niko and his stroller over to some empty forward-facing seats at the edge of the seats for persons with disabilities. A woman sitting on the inward seats directed me to pull up some of the disability sits so I could get “his cart” out of the aisle. Then she proceeded to scream at the people sitting in those seats to get up faster, one of whom snapped at her because she was, duh, disabled and cannot move fast. It is not possible for her to move fast. That is why she sits at the front of the bus, because she has mobility issues. I tried to explain that, no, I didn’t need any seats folded up, I was going to sit right here in vacant seats, look, I’m getting in the seat right now and the original woman yelled at me that I needed to get Niko’s “cart” out of the aisle.
His stroller is an umbrella stroller. It folds up. I slung him onto the seat, sat down, folded the stroller, got us all stowed away. It took less than a minute and would have taken even less time if I wasn’t trying to talk to a screaming person at the same time.
Nikow was crying as we boarded the bus and headed towards the seats because 1) it was past his nap time 2) I’d just taken him from the most fun place EVER (giant slides! bouncy ground! did I mention the slides?) like a huge and unreasonable asshole 3) some stranger was yelling. I picked him up and gave him a cuddle and got him settled a little more comfortably and she… yelled at me! For tending to my crying child!
Apparently, when children cry, you must ignore them. Because they learn that if they act obnoxious you’ll pay attention to them, and keep crying/screaming/whatever. And I, obviously, was too stupid to know when to pay attention to my child and when to ignore his petty demands for attention. He quieted down really quickly and sat calmly, because he is in general a very chill toddler. But that did not stop her from going on a diatribe about spoiled children and how children need to be treated harshly and not spoiled and OH MY GOD LOOK I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MY CHILD OK?
Niko totally makes “I’m a huge asshole! Pay attention to me NOW!” noises, usually when I’m doing the dishes or something, where he’ll just stand there and look at me and whine/wail atonally. EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNN he says. EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. It’s because he! wants! attention! noooowwwwwwwww! And graham crackers. Or goldfish. But mostly? Attention. And if I don’t want my kitchen to smell like somebody’s rotting ass, I need to stay on top of the dishes, which toddlers don’t understand because the world basically revolves around them which makes doing things like washing dishes or doing laundry or pooping extra challenging. But he also makes noises that mean “I’m scared!” or “I’m tired!” or “why is this woman screaming at people? wth? Is she screaming at me? Did I do something wrong?” or “my finger is stuck and it hurts please help me” or whatever. He doesn’t really have words and when he’s upset he forgets the words he does have, which is normal for his age. Sometimes, he needs my attention.
And it is super not helpful to have a stranger (or, hell, someone I know) lecture me on how to parent when I’m actually doing a good job and have a calm, chill toddler who needed some attention and got it and now he’s on the look out for dogs and balls and other things he enjoys.
For some unaccountable reason, there are people convinced that it is feminists who are anti-children and are all judgmental and slap down parents (where “parent” is “female parent” aka “mom”) who take their children out in public. In reality, it is judgmental assholes who are quick to yell insults about ones’ parenting, refuse basic courtesies like kneeling a bus so a lone parent can wrestle a toddler in a stroller aboard, etc. I guess if one sees “feminists” as the enemy (so shrill! so hairy legged! so humorless! so manhating!) it’s easy to ascribe all sins to them instead of recognizing that the world we live in is pretty shitty toward women in general and women with kids in particular. It’s like certain people see a woman with a child or children and they slap on their judging hats and go to town, and let me tell you internets, THAT IS NOT FUN TO DEAL WITH. And, perhaps the worst part, is that for a moment I forgot about all the totally awesome people who helped me with opening doors all day (because Chicago is NOT an accessible city, let me tell you, even at polling places which are supposed to be accessible) and waited for me and smiled at Niko. All the totally great and awesome reactions and extra help and moments of human kindness I’d gotten over the past 19 months were, for a brief moment, obliterated by one jackass who felt I needed to hear how crap I was as a parent. Which, ok, I really don’t need to hear that I TELL MYSELF THAT ENOUGH THANK YOU SHUT UP BRAIN.
The next time you’re out and about and you see a parent with a child or children, please smile at them. If they need a hand and you can help, please do. Be nice. Parents, especially female parents, really get treated like crap a lot in public and a little kindness really does go a long way. Now that I’m home again and have some space between me and that person, I’m able to weigh our experiences on a balance. And there are way more positive public experiences than negative, and I’m very grateful for that. But the negative experiences tend to be much more memorable because they are louder, more hate (or spite) filled, and more barbed.
Mirrored from Now Showing!.
Baking Mishap
Oct. 12th, 2010 12:43 pmMirrored from brigidkeely.com/wordpress.
I’ve been cooking and baking basically since I could reach the counter/table and remember cooking on the stove top while standing on a stool or chair because I wasn’t tall enough to stand and do it. Hell, I started “helping” my mom make bread when I was 3. What I’m trying to say is, I know my way around a kitchen fairly well.
I don’t make brownies very often, and when I do, I generally use a mix that I buy on sale or something. I came across a recipe that was allegedly one used by a woman and her family for years and years, brownies that she brought to other people when they were sick/busy/In Crisis/whatever and then they loved them and begged for the recipe, etc. Recipes like that, they’re usually pretty good. They aren’t just “Oh, I made this once and it turned out really good,” they’re “I make this all the time and this is exactly right.” I was eager to try this because I’ve gotten some cook books (and used recipes online) that… very obviously hadn’t been tested. Or else they had errors in the recipe that a novice cook wouldn’t know how to deal with but that I was able to figure out. That’s frustrating, you know? Especially in a printed cookbook one has paid money for.
I frowned a little as I read the recipe because it called for a lot of butter. “Hm,” I said to myself, “that is a lot of butter.” Let me clarify here. I have no qualms with butter. My pie crust recipe calls for five million pounds of butter. Butter is fantastic to bake with. So when I say “Oh wow that is a lot of butter,” I should listen to myself.
The brownies turned out kind of… over saturated with butter. Greasy. The finished square of brownie was kind of resting in a 1mm deep pool of butter. It was pretty disgusting.
One of the things I liked about this recipe is that it’s easy to make. You use cocoa powder and don’t mess about with melting chocolate (which I’ve done, it’s not terribly difficult, but when you have a very active and clingy 18 month old under foot, baking really needs to be as simple as possible). I’m honestly pretty disappointed that I’ve wasted butter, eggs, sugar, nuts, cocoa, etc on something so dense and greasy. The actual flavor is ok (under the excessive butter taste) but the texture is just… wow. Oily. Dense in a bad way. I might try this recipe again, scaling back on the butter.
In the mean time, share your favorite brownie recipes, please. I’d love to see what you’ve got. For the record, I prefer chewy brownies to cake-y brownies.
Mirrored from brigidkeely.com/wordpress.
Let’s say that you are reading a piece of fiction that is well written and enjoyable. It’s got what you like in it: good characters, good world building, action, romance, happy little elves, sparkling vampires, hard bitten cynics with hearts of gold, whatever.
Let’s say that there’s a character who is one gender, but presents as another. FOR INSTANCE: you have a biological female who dresses in male clothing, uses a male or gender neutral name or nick name, and doesn’t correct people who use male pronouns.
Do you assume this character is transgendered?
If you find, via the story, that the character presents this way for social reasons rather than identity reasons, do you feel let down? Like, the character doesn’t really identify as male, but gets less crap from people/is taken more seriously when wearing pants and short hair, but has no problem having a vagina/ovaries/menstruating/etc?
If a character IS transgendered and presents/lives/identifies as female, but is a sex worker, is that offensive because it’s a stereotype? What if the character is fully accepted by the group she lives/works with, and her clients? What if the character is a minor character who is well fleshed out and realized but ultimately is a support character only (”magical transperson”)?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Please feel free to email me (brigidkeely at gmail .com) if you don’t want to post publicly.
Mirrored from brigidkeely.com/wordpress.
About a million years ago, I had a blogger account. I scrapped that and got an LJ account, back when you had to have an invite to sign up. My memories might be hazy. I might have had LJ first and then abandoned it for Blogger and then come back to LJ. I don’t really remember.
Several years ago… six? more?… I bought my own web hosting and eventually started a wordpress blog. You’re either reading this on my own web hosting, or else you’re reading a mirrored version on LJ or DW or IJ or Facebook or MySpace. Or you’ve RSSed it and are reading it in a reader. Anyway, I have a main blog which is about my life and stuff, and I have a blog that’s exclusively about having a baby and all the navel gazing and poop talk that involves. I have a blog that’s just Secret Chicago stuff, and I’d like to start specialized blogs for my fiction in general, any art that I do, and cooking. I want to segregate these different things because someone who wants to learn how to bake a potato probably won’t want to listen to me bitch about how every eraser I’ve used has lifted ink off the paper, no matter what kind of paper or ink, and left the graphite behind, just as an example.
But I know that there are people out there who are interested in the entirety of my life, crappy erasers and baby’s first cusses and baked potatoes and all. So I’d like to scrape up all my different blogs and publish them all in one place.
And I can’t figure out how to do this on space that I own.
Because I could easily start an LJ/DW/IJ account and mirror everything I post in each disparate blog over there. But I want to own the space entirely and be able to customize it and control it, and I don’t see any way to do this other than to copy each entry and paste it into a new entry at my main journal.
Any suggestions?
