At Least We Tried

[brigid]

Have you ever seen The In-Laws? The 1979 version with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin. At one point, Falk asks Arkin to break into his office, and Arkin sees an autographed photo of JFK saying “Thanks for your help, at least we tried.” Tried what? The Bay Of Pigs, of course! “You were involved in the Bay Of Pigs?” “Involved? It was my idea!”

Niko and I made cookies today. Involved? It was my idea!

The highlight was when I asked Niko to help me break an egg into a bowl. He griped it in his tiny fist and tried to crush it. “grrrr” he said. “GRRRRR!” I showed him how to hold the bowl with one hand and tap the egg on the side of the bowl with his other hand. Then he helped me prick the yolk with the tines of a fork and scramble it up just a bit.

The cookies were a total disaster.

You may have seen a 4-ingredient nutella cookie recipe floating around, especially if you’re on Pinterest.

It’s 4 ingredients, right? I’ve been baking cookies for over 15 years. What could go wrong?

I have no idea. One very likely problem is that, since we have a hazelnut allergy in our household, I didn’t use Nutella: I used a cocoa-almond spread (from Trader Joe’s). The problem might lie in the different ingredients (although the ingredients, other than the nut used, seem pretty similar) or in the oil content (maybe almonds have less oil than hazelnuts?). The dough was extremely dry, only coming together when I squeezed it in my hands (something that other people who followed the directions with no substitutions also complained about), the cookies spread, and they are just… disgusting. The primary taste is of raw flour, and they are gritty and leathery at the same time. I have never had a baking fail this bad.

We’re going to try again tomorrow with peanut butter cookies.

Mirrored from Now Showing!.

Comments

[killing_rose]

Having been making variations on this one for three years and having had the raw-gritty-taste myself, here's the one I've been using with decent success.

Preheat oven to 350.

Cup of peanut butter/almond butter/honestly, nut-based butter (insert 4 year old laughter here) of your choice
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon of either baking soda (this is what I've currently been using) or baking powder
Up to 1 cup of sugar-version of your choice to taste; I had massive grit when I was going with a full one cup and it was too damned dry(I've been using about 1/2 to 3/4 cup cane sugar at the moment)

Don't start by mixing the egg; start by mixing the egg and the peanut butter together until the peanut butter's pliable and wet. Then add the other ingredients.

When you deposit it on greased tinfoil/pan/parchment, press the dough down with the tines of your fork. Sprinkle with sugar if you want. (I haven't been; no damned spoons.) Don't bake for more than 8 to _maybe_ 9 minutes. 10 minutes is legit too long.

They will look not done! Do not be fooled! You do not want that extra minute! (She says, having done this her own damned self this week, and half-ruined peanut butter cookies.) Let them rest until they mostly-cool.

[brigid]

The recipe calls for:
1c nutella
1c flour
1/2 c sugar (although apparently many people omit that entirely, because the nutella is sweet enough, and also helps with the dryness of the dough)
1 egg

I did think about mixing the egg and fake nutella together, then adding the sugar, then the flour. The directions DO NOT SAY. What I wound up doing was whisking the flour and sugar, then mixing in the fake nutella and egg.

I mashed the dough balls down with a glass dipped in sugar. I've made cookies that way before. I've NEVER had them spread.

The recipe didn't call for baking powder (or soda) at all.

Thanks for your suggestions. :)

[killing_rose]

....I have no earthly understanding of why it needs flour. Honestly, that is where I'm inclined to think the recipe went awry. Part of why I use the recipe above is that the sugar gives it enough structure without flour. (And most of the four ingredient recipes do not call for flour. This is, in fact, the first one I've ever seen that has flour I. It. ~boggles~)

[waldo]

What did Niko say about them?

And om nom nom peanut butter cookies!

[brigid]

He insisted on trying one, claimed it was "DEEEEE wishush!" made om nom nom noises (like, he literally said "om nom nom"), but only ate a teensy nibble from it. He likes PB cookies, though, and I've made those a million times, so they should be a hit.