009 Alterations

[brigid]

Mirrored from brigidkeely.com/wordpress.

There is a small dry cleaner/tailor shop underneath the El. Across the street from it is the station, which has a snack shop and newspaper stand. It’s squeezed into a space exactly the width of the tracks, and the posters advertising services are sun bleached and faded. There is a closed sign on the door, and idle passers by who hesitate in front of the large window never see personnel inside the shop. It gives every indication of being locked and vacant.

However, if you try the door between 7am and 7pm, you will find it open. The bell over the door is loud and jarring, and it will summon a Chinese woman in her 40s. If you simply ask questions about prices and hours of operation, she will look at you stonily and not answer. If you bring a stained article of clothing, she will tell you to come back in three hours; when you do, the article will be cleaned of any and all stains, including those difficult to remove human protein stains.

The true wonder, however, is the tailoring services the shop provides.

Bring in a single article of clothing that is too large or too small, and state that it needs to be altered to fit you. The woman will come around the counter and measure your entire body three times, including parts of you that you wouldn’t think need measuring– the circumference of your skull, for instance, or the span of your hand. She will tell you to come back in one week, and charge you twenty dollars.

If you manage to return in one week, you will find that the article of clothing fits you marvelously and is immensely flattering; further, you will find yourself more charismatic and well liked than you normally are. People will show themselves eager to impress you and curry your favor. Each wearing of the article of clothing, however, will deduct one month extra from your life span.

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