Passive Aggressive Baby

[brigid]

I have, hand to God, the most passive aggressive baby in existence, I’m sure of it. Take tonight, for instance. He’s gotten into an utterly terrible habit (and note how I say “he’s gotten into” like this is entirely him, and not slackass parenting on our part) of staying up far too late (like, 10pm late) and just basically running around like a wild thing. So that’s one of the things we’ve been working on, getting him to bed earlier. And he is wiley! So very wiley. I’ll start rounding him up for bed and he puts on his cutest face and asks for food. A hungry baby! Who can deny a hungry baby? I can! Usually. Because I’m mean! But last night he asked for food both verbally AND by signing AND tried to climb into his high chair. I couldn’t resist! He ate half a pudding cup and pointed to an apple and asked for “mnyom mnom ball” so I gave it to him and he started biting into the apple like a tiny person! HOW CUTE IS THAT! But Brigid, you’re saying, where is the passive aggressive? His food delays resulted in him not getting to bed until 8:40pm, and some tantrumming upon hitting the mattress means he actually got to sleep even later than that.

But tonight?

I got him fed! Cleaned up! Jammied! (well, I never changed him OUT of his jammies this morning… but that was on purpose! It’s frigging cold, and his jammies have feet!) and in bed by 7:15! We read two stories and I managed to circumvent a tantrum and get him into the bed and not screaming. I lay down next to him, head on pillow. He thrashed around a bit, trying to get comfy… and then laid sideways along the top of the bed, on top of all the pillows, and started jamming his skull into my cheek. So I’m lying in bed, feigning sleep, and Niko is having NONE OF IT. NONE! And he wants me to know how bored and not sleepy he is. So skull grinding into face. Got it. Silky toddler hair that smells only slightly like pudding up my nose. Got it. Hard skull mashing my lips into my teeth. Right. Message achieved, toddler. Then he started pushing, as though I were the one in his way.

Then he sat up, looked at me, and giggled.

“Shh!” I said. “Put your head down!”

He did.

Then I sang to him and he eventually fell asleep.

The end.

If you are curious, Niko has 2 songs that are entirely his own, and are based on “twinkle twinkle little black sheep, hijklmnop.”

Chug Chug Puff Puff, Little Train
Steaming over Rough Terrain
Over Rivers, Through the Woods,
On Time Like An Engine Should
Chug Chug Puff Puff, Little Train
Steaming over Rough Terrain

and

Niko Sleeping In The Bed
Laying Down His Sleepy Head
Closed His Eyes and Fell Asleep
Then He Dreamed A Dream So Deep
Niko Sleeping In The Bed
Laying Down His Sleepy Head

Although, of course, there are other songs just for him.

IN OTHER NEWS, in news that could have been super exciting but wound up just kind of “what the hell baby whatever,” it was nap time the other day and I told Niko to find his bed and jump into it “scoot scoot!” which is what I tell him when it’s time for bed. And usually he runs into our bed room and scrambles into our bed and rubs his butt over all the pillows and then tosses them on the floor and then gradually settles down. But not this time! Oh no. THIS TIME he ran into HIS room and scrambled into HIS BED and turned his crib music box on and curled up on his mattress so sweetly I almost conceived another child right then and there simply from how cute he was. COULD THIS BE IT???? I wondered, capslock thoughts and extra exclamation marks jostling about in my brain. ARE WE FINALLY FREE OF A TINY NIGHT TIME VISITOR? WILL HE SLEEP IN HIS OWN BED FROM NOW ON???!!!???

Answer: no. About a minute and a half later (just long enough for me to shoot an excited IM to a friend of mine) he started screaming to be let out of his room.

We sacked out in the family bed for 3 1/2 hours. Together. Oh, so together.

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Mirrored from Now Showing!.

Comments

[dorothean]

Oh my lord, posts about other people's babies are my favorite thing ever. Especially yours. SO CUTE

[sister_luck]

Haha!

We're guilty of that same slackass parenting but he is just NOT tired. And he sleeps in our bed, too. Almost always. Which I don't mind most of the time except when it's late and I want to sleep and he wants to play. And then he climbs out of bed and switches on the bedside lamps and is generally being annoying. If he just won't stop, he is taken to his room where he proceeds to scream his head off until we get him back and then it starts again until he eventually settles down between us.

[brigid]

A bit part of it is that my inlaws take him and are so enamored of him (and my MIL never had set bed times for HER KIDS so to them it's not a big deal) that he doesn't come home until late. And then he naps poorly the next day because he's over tired and gets super wound up and has a hard time getting to sleep. It is a vicious cycle! That I need to work harder to keep on top of!