My child is not a super genius.

[brigid]

My child is not a super genius.

I KNOW. I AM SURPRISED AS WELL.

I picked up the Goodnight Moon Board Game¹ at the thrift store when Niko was still an infant because it was like 75 cents and had all the pieces. The age range is 2 1/2 and up, although that link says it’s ages TWO and up. We currently have all our board games in the bedroom, stacked up on a chair and on the windowsill (please don’t ask, it’s a foolish and boring story) and he saw the Goodnight Moon game’s box. He loves the book so he darted over to the box and tapped on it insistently with his finger. I figured that even though he isn’t 2 1/2 yet, he is obviously a super genius and so we could play the game together and he could thrill me with his superior matching skills.

Yeah, no. He’s too young for the game, although we did have fun looking at the pieces and the cards and the pictures on them.

The only board image he could match a card picture to was the fireplace, because he is weirdly obsessed with Clement Hurd’s fireplaces and goes to great lengths to point at them whenever we read Goodnight Moon… or The Runaway Bunny, which has a picture of Goodnight Moon‘s cover complete with fireplace on the back of it, and the little bunny and mother bunny cuddled in front of a fireplace at one point, too. So that’s one image out of six.

THAT IS PRETTY TERRIBLE.

I AM DISAPOINT.

I mean, compared to other parenting blogs featuring 2 year olds, shouldn’t he be speaking in full sentences, tying his own shoes, preparing dinner, and counting to 100 (in five languages) by now? I mean, he IS two. Sure, he can jump with both feet off the ground, do push ups, and sing all 99 verses of 99 bottles of beer on the wall. But is that ENOUGH?

I’ll have to bust out some more flash cards or something.

At this rate he will NEVER get into a prestigious preschool, and the Ivy Leagues will be forever out of his reach.

Sigh.

Related Posts

• My child is not a super genius.
• Things I never thought I’d say to a small child.
• Parenting Carnival of Love 3 of 7: Amalah
• How did this happen? Niko is two!
• Parenting Carnival of Love 2 of 7: Tiffany Ard

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1. This is an affiliate link, although that means NOTHING, thank you GOVERNOR QUINN for making it impossible for residents of Illinois to participate in Amazon’s Affiliate Program, FUCK YOU. ↩

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Comments

[waldo]

Your child can do push-ups at 2? Your child has skills this 38 year old doesn't have. Maybe he's destined to be the next Olympic *star* weight-lifter or wrestler or something. :)

[brigid]

Actually, he CAN do push ups. I look over at him sometimes when he's dancing/throwing himself around and he'll do a push up or two then wallow around on the floor, then pop to his feet and start just jumping in a circle. (The albuterol is REALLY helping him, as is the claritin.) He also does this break dance-y move where he throws himself onto his stomach then lifts his chest up really high so he's like balanced on his pelvis.

My instinct is to say that he doesn't take after me, but... I used to dance competitively, ride my bike long distances, and do gymanstics. I love how much he enjoys moving.

[waldo]

It's amazing what being able to breathe does for your willingness and ability to move.

And he's *almost* old enough to start understanding the logic between "you like to slam dance? Okay, that's a lot easier if you let me assault you with this mask give you your meds." :)

[brigid]

He's like 95% fine with the mask (although sometimes he hollers into it, or makes train noises into it, because the sound echoes around. Not sure how much medication he's taking in when he does that but... whatever) because of the magic of M&M bribes.

Speaking of, we've been working on letter recognition (he gets "o" 90% of the time ("OHHHHHH!), "b" about half the time ("BEEEEEEE"), "d" maybe a third of the time ("DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he confuses it and b), and calls "m" "myom myom" because he calls M&Ms "baby myom myom" or baby food. Because they are food the baby eats. (he calls every other letter "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.")

[waldo]

At 2 that's a good start! I'm dyslexic, so, you know, b, p, d and q are interchangable It's all a ball and a stick to me!

And I adore baby!logic. M&Ms = 'baby food' because they're food that they baby eats! Makes perfect sense. :)