My kid is weird (but you already knew that)

[brigid]

A friend of mine came over on Wednesday to teach me how to crochet and watch some old Highlander Season 1 episodes and gently (lovingly) mock them. Nesko had a potential job/training thing that morning, so he didn’t drop Niko off at his parents’ as is usual on Wednesdays, so Niko got to hang with my friend (who he really likes, so that’s always cool. He especially likes eating any food she is eating.) She brought with her a skein of yarn and Niko had fun playing with it, holding it, petting it, hugging it, kissing it, calling it a tootoot (because it’s long, like a train) and a mew mew (because it’s soft, like a kitty). He also patted it, then patted the rug, because the fibers feel pretty similar.

Then my friend started unskeining the skein and turning it into a ball.

And he freaked out.

He wouldn’t come near us on the couch. He said “no” a lot. He clutched his hands and made a fretful face. When we tried to encourage him to touch the ball he refused. If we offered it to him, he ran away.

This child does not deal with change well.

Today saw me crocheting and ripping the stitches out to start again (haha, ripping them out. I just, you know, pulled the end until it all unraveled) because I am one of those people who works really small– which is one reason knitting is such torment to me (the other reason is that I have a problem following spatial directions and telling left from right– this is an actual problem with my actual brain– so doing unfamiliar stuff like knitting throws me for a loop unless someone is showing me in a very specific way how to do it. I can cast on like nobody’s business but the next step? Uh. Yeah.) so part of what I’ve been doing is making my stitches larger so I’m not, you know, crocheting Kevlar. Anyway, Niko wouldn’t come near me most of the day when I was crocheting and kept calling the ball of yarn “no ball” and “tootoot ball” (because when it was a skein, it was a train, get it?) and running away if the ball got too close to him. By the evening (and Nesko’s return) Niko would sit on the couch next to me, and he kept talking about rolling the ball, but he wouldn’t touch it. He stopped running away if I offered it to him, though. He just stood there looking worried.

I don’t know what it is about change that freaks him out so much. I’m glad it isn’t worse than it is… he doesn’t freak out when I peel an orange or cut up an apple. But it still worries me. I mean, grass used to freak him out. Grass. The stuff that grows in the dirt and people walk and sit on (or don’t walk or sit on because OMGGRAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS). The first time it rained on him, and he was aware of rain, he could not cope. (He’d been out in rain, drizzle, as an infant but, you know, didn’t remember that or something.)

It maybe sounds like I keep this kid in a dim basement with nothing but three wooden blocks and a spoon for amusement. I swear, we go out! We do stuff! He is exposed to new things! Some of those new things just… really wig him out, I guess.

Technorati Tags: anxiety, parenting, toddler

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Comments

[waldo]

We got him to touch it a couple times... with one finger. :)

Seriously, though, I'm stumped... what were we *eating*? I had a can of Sprite, but... eating?

BTW, I never made it to class last night. Too busy rescuing a bird from the middle of freaking Broadway in Lakeview!

[brigid]

RE: eating

The first time you came over he crawled into your lap and ate your sandwich. Which is not normal behavior for him with new people.

Lol birds!

[nicki]

I have no idea if this will be helpful because I don't work with tiny people (small ones, yes sometimes, tiny ones, no) but one of the things we do with kids who are freaked out by change is to tell them social stories before the change happens. So, like:

"OK, we are going to go to the mall. We are going to get our jackets and ride in the the car for a little while and then go to the mall and look at some clothes and maybe go to the toy store if you are good. It might rain but that is OK because we have our jackets and because we will dry off quickly. And then when we get to the car I will turn on the heat and we will be warm and dry. Then when we get to the mall, it might be a little noisy, but that is OK because the noise is mostly just people who are happy and talking to eachother, just like us, and we like happy people..."

[brigid]

I've noticed that he does handle transitions better when I tell him what's going on, and stuff he doesn't like but that must be done (washing/rinsing his hair, medication, etc) is more tolerable when I tell him what's going to happen and then narrate what's going on and how soon it'll be over. Then massive praise.

But seriously. Making a ball out of yarn. What the hell.

[nicki]

Well, he thought he knew what it was, and then it changed. Freaky stuff.

[sister_luck]

I think it's because toddlers are constantly finding out how something works or behaves or looks, because everything's new to them. And that's what they do all day, e.g. experimenting what happens when they throw n bh hgdffrtnhzgflikjjuuhjzdasswrt6gtop+ü++ (Guess who experimented here...)
.

My kid recently freaked out when his ball didn't roll in the direction he expected - the paving in the garden is very uneven and suddenly the ball he'd been kicking seemed to have a life of its own. He refused to touch the ball - the one that he usually loves playing with - and didn't want to go anywhere near it.

üß+++ü+gt nm mg nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn”n””n”nxtre<ed8y<yey<d8,sd7d6ds6ds<