One Thousand Words

I think I’ve mentioned in the past that Niko refers to apples and oranges as “myum myum balls” because “myum myum” is food and apples and oranges are round, like balls. Food balls! He likes to eat both apples and oranges and in an attempt to accommodate his desire for fresh fruit and our own healthy eating initiative, we’ve instituted a fruit bowl that we keep on the dining room table, filled with washed fruit. It is ready to go! All we have to do is eat it! Niko is thrilled and spends a lot of time pointing at the fruit in the bowl and demanding myum myum balls instead of the terrible crap we try to feed him. You know. Like home made macaroni and cheese, or chicken quesadillas, or roasted cauliflower, or the eggs he specifically requested, or from-scratch chicken tenders and oven fries. They are almost as enticing as home made cookies, cooling on racks on the table.

Oh, how we torment him, with food on the table he isn’t supposed to eat in mass quantities!

So he tries to climb up onto the table and steal the food.

Recently, we picked up a bag of mandarin oranges. I thought they were clementines. THERE IS A VAST AND TERRIBLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MANDARIN ORANGES AND CLEMINTINES. Basically: clementines are totally awesome and tasty; mandarins are syrupy sweet and foul. I WAS DISAPPOINT. Niko, however, disagrees with me and thinks mandarin oranges are the BOMB. And they are very easy to peel, with not much pith, Cara Cara oranges I am looking at YOU. So we’re spending a lot of time recently chasing him off the table.

I am thinking of getting a squirt bottle.

I mean, it works for cats, right?

Yesterday, Nesko and I were hanging out in the bedroom laughing at something (probably fart jokes, we are totally mature that way) and enjoying the way I’ve rearranged furniture in there, when Niko edged in with a huge grin on his face. I mean, the little dude sidled in. Like he was hiding something, or trying to. He had his hands behind his back. What was in his hands? Why, two mandarin oranges of course!

It was some hilariously inept sneaking, let me tell you.

So Nesko congratulated him on his ninja moves in getting the oranges off the table without any tell-tale chair-adjusting scraping, and went to put the oranges back in the fruit bowl… at which point he did a quick count and realized that Niko had actually removed the oranges and stashed them somewhere previously. Like, the day before previously. About half an hour later, I intercepted him with a Halloween Treat Bucket full of mandarin oranges. He was swinging it around, learning about Centrifugal Force.

The fruit bowl is now on the kitchen counter.

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