Things I never thought I’d say to a small child.

[brigid]

• Get your hands out of my underpants.
• Please stop plucking at my thigh hairs.
• Dirty clothing goes in the basket, not rubbed against your face.
• No, you cannot have that cupcake; you already had one for breakfast.
• MUST you rub your face against my bottom?
• Oh boy! It’s time to poop! I am pooping! Poop is coming out of my butt and going into the potty! LIKE A BIG GIRL!
• What do you mean you don’t want M&Ms? TAKE THE LURE.

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