One Thousand Words

We’ve pretty successfully transitioned Niko to sleeping in his own bed, although he wakes up a few times a night and needs attention, and putting him down can take an hour or more which WHEE FUN! Sometimes I think “FUCK IT” because he’d gotten to a point, sleeping in our bed, where he’d go down in just a few minutes and I hate a drawn out bedtime ritual (which, just throwing this out there, is the worst when Nesko does it because that means Nesko is home, and Niko wants to party with him instead of sleep).

Sometimes Niko wakes up early in the morning and gets into bed with us/me and I don’t really care. He snoozes a bit longer, I get to continue lying in bed with no demands on me, whatever. Usually Nesko is already out of bed and getting ready for or already left for work. Then, the other day, Niko woke up and got into bed with us at 5:00 am after a very long and protracted falling asleep and also woke up several times during the night and Nesko and I were both too tired to put him back to bed. I’d forgotten just how much I hate sleeping with a toddler. He rolled around like a rotisserie toddler. He kicked me repeatedly, in the “drumming his heels on me” way. He got his fingers tangled in my hair and yanked it while thrashing around. He pushed at me. He tried to burrow his head inside of me. He stuck his feet under me. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS.

It really strengthened my resolve to not let him into bed with us unless it’s morning and we’re just chillin’, even when he cries and says he’s lonely, even when he begs us to sleep with him “just a little bit” and pats his pillow and says we can lie down “on this spot right here.” Fffffffffffffffffff. NO MORE.

Does that sound cruel? He’s actually pretty good about sleeping by himself, especially at nap time. Nap time is usually not a struggle at all. In fact, he’ll finish eating lunch and say he’s ready to sleep now, and we calmly do our business and read two stories and I tuck him in and make sure he has his water and his objects of affection (Canada the moose, Carl the elephant, Other Carl the other elephant, Medo the panda bear (“medo” is how you say “bear” ins Srpski, so he has a bear named bear), Emily the Steam Engine and her Tender, his Special Blue Blanket) and give him some hugs and kisses and that’s it. He sacks out for 2-5 hours and while I can’t get anything done in the kitchen, I can pick up the living room or the dining room or work on lesson plans for the student I tutor or just sit on my butt and surf the net. You know. Whatever.

The little bits of regressing he’d been doing (crawling, and referring to himself as “a crawling baby!”, needing every single pacifier in the entire house in bed with him, asking for a bottle– something he gave up when he was 13 months old, with no fight at all) are easing off, although he still wants his pacifier ALL THE TIME when we’d already weaned him during the day, and he’s chewing on EVERYTHING including his fingers/hands (is he teething? HE HAS ALL HIS TEETH. Any teeth coming in are UNWANTED EXTRAS).

And at night, I stretch out in the middle of the bed (not the edge of it) and curl up with my husband and nobody kicks me or punches me. It is GLORIOUS.

Mirrored from Now Showing!.

What is playground etiquette for making new parent friends that you meet at the playground or other public places?

I am a bit, how you say, “incredibly socially awkward and highly anxious in new situations” and go into public places assuming that other people will think I am a fool and hate me forever because I have something stuck between my teeth and I say nonsensical things and probably have food spattered on me or something. HAH FUN TIMES! THANKS, BRAIN! yet I blog, putting myself out in public, and I’ve enjoyed every retail job I’ve had because I enjoy the disposable human interaction of retail work.  Go figure.

I took Niko to the park the other day, and there was a woman with a FANTASTIC brown corduroy jacket and two adorable kids. I mention her jacket because she, like me, is Very Fat and so in theory I could also wear a brown corduroy jacket. We seemed to have similar taste within the stringent bounds of what clothing is available to fat women. And her boy was maybe a year older than Niko and very gregarious. (her other child was about a year younger, I think, and wow is there a vaster difference between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 than there is between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 or 4) He and Niko played together a bit, in between Niko running laps around the playground while roaring (he had juuuuuuuust a bit of pent up energy to get rid of), and he tried to play tag with Niko. He touched him gently and said “Tag! You’re it!” and then they ran off together. Niko has no idea what tag is, but he enjoyed the running and he climbed on things… at one point Older Child climbed on something that was not play structure and Niko gazed up at him admiringly and Older Child said “Here! Take my hand!” and my heart burst into ONE MILLION TINY ADORING PIECES BECAUSE OH GOD HOW CUTE WAS THAT. So cute it forced me to use ALL CAPS.

Anyway, I would have loved to try being friends with that other stylish lady and have our kids get together, but how does one broach that topic of conversation without sounding like an immense loser who has no friends? I should note that if someone approached ME with the question I wouldn’t assume they were immense losers with  no friends but hello! Crazybrain activity going on!

I’ve thought about making cards that have my name, Niko’s name, and my email address on them that I can hand out to people as like calling cards or something. Would that be over the top? Or would it seem “Type A” somehow? I am actually very lazy, indolent even, in my personal life so I don’t want to give an impression of a bustling, over-involved nature. Would it be weird? Should I put my blog address on there, or would it scare people away?

I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO NAVIGATE ADULTHOOD APPARENTLY.

But it was nice talking with another adult about our kids and how they are weirdly obsessed with rocks, sticks, and trains; it was nice that Niko was interacting with another child instead of just adults.

I imagine things will be different when he’s in pre-K next year, and it will feel more natural and logical to introduce myself to a bunch of strangers to be parent friends with. We’ve talked about enrolling Niko in some kind of toddler class, but we can’t afford any of them so that’s out. Most of the stay at home parenting groups are not in my area and would be difficult or impossible to get to as I don’t drive… and some of them charge fees, too, which is like… whaaaaaat? I just want to sit in someone’s living room while our kids wreck things together, you know?

I should start grabbing free museum passes from our library branch and taking Niko more places before the snow falls and locks us inside for 4 or more months, I guess.

How do you meet new parent friends/how did you meet the parent friends you have? Are calling cards weird? Does anyone know any nerdy parents of toddlers in northern Chicago I can glom on to? How do you feel if parents try to “pick you up” in public places? HIT ME UP WITH ADVICE PEOPLE, I AM IN NEED.

Mirrored from Now Showing!.